June 2

HUMILITY MONTH: DAY 2:

“These are the few ways we can practice humility:

To speak as little as possible of one’s self.

To mind one’s own business.

Not to want to manage other people’s affairs.

To avoid curiosity.

To accept contradictions and correction cheerfully.

To pass over the mistakes of others.

To accept insults and injuries.

To accept being slighted, forgotten and disliked.

To be kind and gentle even under provocation.

Never to stand on one’s dignity.

To choose always the hardest.” ― Mother Teresa

This is the best list of qualities of humility I could have found. I am so inspired by reading this! And a part of my brain (SPM!) is yelling… “Oh, Hell NO!” Of course.

A friend and I were having this conversation a few months ago. Humility is such a challenging concept to talk about. And to practice.

The minute I think I am practicing Humility, I am vain. Dammit! In the early days, my sponsor taught me to do thoughtful things for others and not tell anyone I had done them. REALLY?? Wow!

She was a humble woman. I met her when she had about 32 or 33 years of recovery. A rock, a real rock for me. And her sense of humor was tremendous! We laughed so hard at the seeming trials and tribulations of my little life. I will never stop being grateful for her love and words.

I find that gratitude practice has brought me more and more to humility. I am grateful for those things in my life over which I did not have a big part. Of course, recovery of 31 years is always on that list. I can take credit for always wanting MORE of it and doing extensive work around here.

But the Grace I receive is each day is not my doing. I am not capable of smashing my ego to the extent required to be sitting here today. That has been a process over which I had no say.

What HAS happened is that I have been given the gift of WILLINGNESS and done the crazy (and I DO mean CRAZY) shit you guys have suggested, over and over and over.

I have never balked at the work or the suggestions, even when they made no sense. I have done things that did not appeal to me AT ALL when they were suggested. But I did them ALL.

Even that bit of writing was all about EGO. Because I spoke only of ME. See how this works? All I can say is that every single thing on that list is in opposition to me being the ME I came here with. I loved to talk about ME. I love to get into the middle of others’ shit so I can avoid MINE.

I SHOULD manage other’s affairs, so capable! And I have the worst curiosity in the world. Sometimes it serves, often it is just being nosy.

Accepting contradictions and corrections? Oh, hell no! And I LOVED to make sure others’ mistakes are brought to light.

The rest is obvious, of course. We are the most argumentative and “need to be right” folks I ever met! And I remember the first time I read a book whose premise is: “I’d rather be happy than right.” It took me a long time to sit with that without feeling like I wanted to throw up. Today I am very happy to be wrong, still am quite often, and usually okay about it.

If I could alter the above list with one thing, it would be to “NOT KNOW” anything. To empty my knowledge each day and start the next with NONE. The worst thing we say when being educated is “I know.” Why? Because it does NOT matter what we know. It only matters what we DO.

And what I did yesterday is not enough for today. My book tells me I have a progressive illness. That means I must do MORE every day to keep this gift. And a gift it is… for fun and for free. I love that!