May 30

INTEGRITY MONTH: DAY 30: “If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it.” ― Marcus Aurelius

Integrity is a very simple way to live. The only complications are those the ego brings into the picture. Ego loves complex situations, so creates them where they do not exist.

One of the most lovable creatures of our generation(s) is Yoda. Yoda uses few words and speaks truth and walks in integrity. No ego, just wisdom.

That is who we work to become in recovery. Smashing the ego is the sole purpose of the 12 steps. Ego loves to complicate things, making truth a mysterious and wispy premise that we must search high and low to discover. Never was, never will be.

Truth exists in our heart, not in our ego. Integrity is what we do and the way that we do it. If we are living in truth, then integrity is a given by-product of that lifestyle.

If we are living in ego, we are doubtless doing and being things that are not integral with our spiritual nature. We are deceiving ourselves and others. We are cutting corners and taking shortcuts that we believe will get us what we want, rather than what is best suited for our lives.

The Universe provides. Period. All things that are necessary for us to be and do what we are here to be and do. There is no shortcut or angle to work on, no corners to cut. We will be given what we need; and it will be given when we need it.

Integrity is going to allow the steady flow of life to come to us in the ways that best serve our purpose in this life, at this time, in this place, and on the terms with which we are best served. We can only serve that which is right for us in this time and in this way.

There is no amount of “figuring it out” for us to perform. That is wonderful news! I spent so many, many of my precious moments attempting to “get over on” life. Trying to figure it out, shoot angles, corral my energies, take some of yours, take more of yours, being jealous of you and yours; ad nauseum… I am eternally and deeply grateful to find out mine is WAY better!

That when I live into what is truly my life, allowing the Universe to bring what is best and right for me, I am SO happy! I live in contentment and quiet peace. There is nothing my ego can tell me that I must listen to any longer. This is great news!

And the simpler I live my life, the more Yoda I bring into my heart, the better it gets. I no longer want what is yours. Mine fits perfectly! And I get to be content. For a chronic malcontent (thank God, the BB finally told me that was my nature) this is the best life I could have dreamt of having. Every day, and all-day long.

Wisdom, for me, is the knowledge of self. That I am all those things I am. Getting to that place has been the path of the 12 Steps. Loving Kelly puts Creator in my heart-center, where I can hear what is being whispered when I feel lost or unsure. I am not lost, but I believe it from time to time. I get wisdom from that center of me…the place I tried to bury in bullshit for many, many years and drown with booze and silence with drugs.

Today I am grateful to be able to hear and feel the right thing, walking a journey that brings me back to the center, over and over again…this is such good shit!