May 28

INTEGRITY MONTH: DAY 28: “When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everyone will respect you.” ― Lao Tzu

Respect does not connotate being liked. There are a great many people who will not like a person of integrity, because it threatens their insecurities and self-deceit.

What is funny about this quote, at least to me, is the idea that I am not comparing or competing, but will be respected for that. Who do I need to gain respect from? Only one place, within myself.

I don’t do any of this recovery work I do for the approval of others. I am proud of my life and my work, and respect myself for the first time in this life. That is all I ask or need.

I enjoy being me. I have tried, for many years, to be someone or something else. It did not fit, it did not work. I did things by process of elimination. I worked on things that I believed would be most important; jobs, education, titles, homes, cars, etc. These are the socially-accepted things to strive for.

Then came discouragement, disappointment, loss of identity and emptiness. I have found myself in the day-to-day simplicity of tending my gardens, writing, yoga, meditating, hiking in the world around me, and in so many very simple and stress-free ways.

I no longer identify myself with those things. They did not feed my spirit, only ego. I want to feed the things that bring me joy; a good friend and talking about life, teaching and learning, nature in all her glory, connection with people I love, being on the ocean, digging in the dirt, creating something by writing, painting, sewing, crocheting, decorating or whatever means comes up. These things give me time to channel my spirit and fill my spirit.

Many years ago, I began to practice Reiki. It is an energy healing practice that I thoroughly enjoy doing. I don’t practice on people, but animals resonate with it when I pet them. So do plants and all other beings that have energetic fields. When I sit in the morning, I set the intention to heal and give the Universe some more healing energy by giving away Reiki for a few minutes.

The flow of the kundalini through my body is wonderful! I feel alive (I AM!) and vital (I AM!) And then I get to move through my body in some yoga and a bit more sitting on the mat. That is so important to remaining balanced… and all of it is free!

Friends talk of going on retreat or to a spa for the day, and I do it every morning! The peace and love I feel in my heart when I finish is so great. I have cried for the love that flows out from my heart to self and the world around me. Joy!

We all have what will bring us happiness in the last place we go to seek it… within our own hearts. Never in our minds, which is why we don’t think we have the answers or the happiness. I must love and connect with Kelly to find that Universal Power I sought for so long. And it is a very, very wonderful thing.