INTEGRITY MONTH: DAY 27: “Goodness is about character – integrity, honesty, kindness, generosity, moral courage, and the like. More than anything else, it is about how we treat other people.” Dennis Prager
My life is richly blessed with those people most folks do not want to be with. Convicted felons, criminals, the severely mentally ill, and addicts in all walks of life. When I treat them well, I feel good about myself and my way of life.
If I were to be afraid of these people, I would treat them poorly or try to talk down to them, which is really the worst way to be with others. I have learned here that we are all the same under the surface. My ego is the thing that separates me from you. It tells me I am more or less than you, that I am inferior or superior in some way, that I am different. It tells me that we are NOT going to get along, that you will NEVER understand or like me…. blah, blah, blah. Screaming purple monkey (SPM) throwing its shit AGAIN.
So, if I practice being integral, I am allowing the truth to be the bridge between us. I am recognizing and walking in that truth. I can understand that the monkey in my head is just like yours. They say the same thing. EVERY single addict I have ever met has the same voice telling them the same thing! OMG! Can it be that THIS is the crux of my disease(s)? Of course it is!
The only thing I don’t like about today’s quote is the “Goodness” part. I really believe that trying to get “good” is the death of many of us in recovery. We believe in the dichotomy of good and bad. There is NO such thing. These are judgments that we make up. They are arbitrary and untrue.
Everything in the world created by the Universal Power just IS. If Dr. Paul’s treatise on Acceptance is true, which I have always believed to be so, then “there are NO mistakes in God’s world.” This brings such a sense of deep peace to my heart that I cannot allow it to be any other way.
My heart resonates with that piece of writing. It always has. I read it every day. I love it and work to live it. I am tired of fighting that world out there that refuses to conform to MY way of wanting it to be. Thank God for that piece of writing.
So, I believe I want to be a woman of character, of integrity. I felt a great deal of “high” when I did my first 5th Step. I was SO free, of that judgment I had carried in my monkey cage all those years. I swear it felt like 50 pounds of shame were dropped on the floor. I could have floated away! A deep and abiding sense of “I am going to be okay” came to me with Step 5.
I have been addicted to this thing since that moment. Being a woman with a penchant for addiction to things that bring me peace, joy, happiness, and a sense of relief, I can only say that I am totally addicted to the path of recovery. I cannot get enough! I run out to find more and more every day. The world around me is an astonishing place that I cannot wait to explore and be a part of.
I love the people who cross my path. I love the life I get to have. I love what comes when I allow Universal Power to bring it to me, rather than chasing it down and trying to capture it. And I love that I can be integral and walk in truth and honor. I can be kind, generous, courageous and all the other things Mr. Prager speaks of in this quote. I love people…. who knew? I really believed I hated them. Because the SPM told me they were going to hurt me. Some did, most don’t. Today I know what the difference is. There is nothing that can hurt love. Just what I believe about it. I love you all, and that is just the way it is!
Dolphin Hug 