May 22

INTEGRITY MONTH: DAY 22: “Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace.” – Buddha

My words can only bring peace to situations where the truth is the final peace. That is what I had to learn here. If I give you words only to give you peace, they are going to be hollow words.

Conflict exists wherever truths do not align. That is the way of people in this world. So, I must be at peace where my truth lies and let others’ truths be theirs.

I am not here to shift your perspective, only my own. There is nothing I can offer you if you do not see from my perspective. If you ask, I will respond with the truth from where I sit. If that does not resonate with you, I am okay with knowing that your truth and my truth do not align.

I spent so much of my life trying to get you to see things from my perspective…a bit arrogant and a LOT self-centered. There is never going to be a time when that is your perspective.

Recovery means I am going to stand as far away from things as I can to see the biggest possible picture of them. That gives me the view of most of the people involved in any given situation. I am always open, I hope, to seeing things differently. It may alter my truth. It may not.

However, I am going to be at peace with what I believe IS the truth until I am able to see things differently. The peace that comes, for me, is wonderful.

And the peace comes, most often, when I am not working to make others see things MY way. That is the word of peace I can speak. That you are you and see what you see. And that it is okay for us to see differently on any given topic without making anyone wrong or bad.

The addicts I know will sometimes fight to the death (literally!) to be right. I get to go into a situation at this time in my life where it was once devastating for me, because I got beat up in the process. I am no longer engaged in that conflict, although it has not changed. I have. YAY!

If I have no stake in you being right or agreeing with me, there is less brutality. The peace is mine to create. You do NOT have to participate. How freeing this is! I can allow you to be right, which is all an addict believes they MUST accomplish.

And I can disagree with you without being disagreeable. If you cannot, that is your stuff to clean up, or not. None of my business. Hooray! That clears my plate for so much more life! I love life! I am not going to spend another moment worrying about making you see my side of things or making you wrong.

Nor am I going to buy into you trying to convince me of your side or believe you when you tell me I am wrong.

My truth can withstand these things. And I can withstand these battles in ways I never could before. I am strong and congruent with my truth. It will probably change in 5 seconds, which is most often the case, but I will be strong in the new truth, too. And so on, and so on, and so on…Yippee!