FAITH MONTH: DAY 28: “If you’ve got the truth you can demonstrate it. Talking doesn’t prove it.” ― Robert A. Heinlein
Yeah, I talk a lot less about my faith every day. Writing is my voice, but I walk through the world very differently than I once did. The anxiety and fear are seldom with me today.
I don’t know when that happened, but it did. It was slow and took a very long time. I don’t really have a great deal of fear in today’s world. My most invasive anxiety comes from responses I am aware of and have to work to dispel.
The responses are deeply imbedded in my psyche, and so, challenging to overcome. The process of the steps gives me deep faith that I will continue to work through these things as I go on. If I ended today, I would be totally thrilled with who I have become and the life I am blessed to live.
The BB talks about us being like little children who whistle in the dark to show others we are not afraid. The false bravado we embrace in life while drinking and using is all puff and fluff. There is no substance to it. We are terrified of everything and everyone.
That doesn’t stop because we quit using and drinking. Being in recovery is no guarantee we will lose our sense of dread about life. In fact, we most often deepen our sense of impending doom for quite a few years.
As we process through these steps and learn to live in the principles they embody, we become a great deal more trusting of the Universe. We seldom believe there is some kind of cosmic plot to harm us and destroy our dreams.
Quite frankly, there is so much arrogance in believing that we are the only ones NOT getting what is supposed to come to us that it is kind of frustrating to talk about with new members.
The belief that we are any better or worse than others is completely self-centered and arrogant. Ego works in incredible ways to tell us the stories we walk around with.
Horrible things are done by people, all kinds of people. As we learn to process through the things we have done, all we can do is sit in wonder and awe that we are chosen to receive the grace that gives us another moment of recovery and relief from chronic and active addiction. There is no other explanation for it, no other reason for US to be sitting in that chair.
We are no more or no less worthy than anyone. Arrogant self-reflection and/or condemnation is a waste of energy.
Our faith in our ego must be shattered. It must stop being the place we go to get what we need. As we let go of that source more and more often, the Universe will step in to fill our lives with grace and love and joy.
How we do that is by applying the steps and the principles to everything we do. At home, on the road, at work, in the mall, everywhere. And it works, beautifully, at least that is MY experience.
Dolphin Hug 