March 14

FAITH MONTH: DAY 14: “You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is like an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.” ― Mahatma Gandhi

The concept of Trust and Faith with others is a huge one in recovery. Many times, addicts say things like “I have trust issues.” Well, no shit!

We are liars, cheats and thieves. This behavior stems from our fear-based ego. When we are afraid, we think we have to make up our own solutions. Learning to trust that life is giving us answers, but not yet, is the whole purpose of having faith in the first place.

Step 3 gives us the mandate to decide to turn it all over to that Power. Okay. Now what? What next is the real test of whether or not we are deciding to or not. How that looks is that I stop trying to find the answers in my finite mind or experience. When I do, I will revert to old behavior, driven by old ideas. Why?

Because we ONLY have the experience of where we have been and what we have done and what we have experienced and learned SO FAR. Todays’ situations will require NEW ideas and outcomes. We cannot possibly know them, because they have not happened yet. Get it?

Okay. If we have learned to truly turn that over to the care of the Universal Power, we are going to get on with our day. Most of us will sit up at 3:00 am and try to find the answers, again and again. Jeez!! It is terrible to be this demanding of both ourselves and the Universe!

Then, if we are feeling stuck, we will place other people in a position to tell us what to do. We may believe they have wisdom and experience that can benefit us. They DO NOT! NO ONE knows your journey. If they pretend to and give you “advice”, you are setting yourself up to being victimized by them.

Why?

Because they DO NOT KNOW what you are supposed to do either. They may have an idea about how you can find your own answers…meditate, write, do the next indicated thing. But, they DO NOT KNOW what your journey is going to look like. How could they?
You are not here to live their experience. You are here to live YOURS. It is most likely going to be different than anyone’s journey.

If there is a spiritual principle involved in how you need to clean up a mess you have made in the process of your indecision, it is likely that you are going to get some advice, (hopefully from a sponsor), about how to do that.

Or there may be some specific step work that needs to happen around the situation. My experience is that it is ALWAYS Step 3. Ugh! I am not allowing the Universe to unfold in its own time and in its own way. This is big stuff, I’m telling you!

I have to consistently and repeatedly make this decision. I love the line that asks me “What is the choice to be?” Because I must choose all the time. Do I or don’t I?

I will not get an email from the Power, I will, however learn to access the place inside myself where the wisdom gets revealed. I only pretend to not know most of the time. If I sit in quiet meditation, I have learned that my heart always knows what is right and what is wrong.

Again, the wisdom of my old sponsor, Allene, comes to my heart…” When in doubt, do nothing.” So, I sit still and wait.

This pisses us off. We DEMAND answers NOW. About things that do not need to be decided for many days, weeks or months. Who the hell do we think we are? Yeah, there is a million-dollar question.

And, now, for the thing about trusting others. We MUST learn to trust them to be who they are, all the time, and to do what is in their nature to do. No matter what they may say or promise.

Others are here to show us who WE are. If we place expectations (ALWAYS self-absorbed ideas of what they should do!), we are going to be disappointed. As the saying goes, “expectations are pre-meditated resentments.”

We MUST accept people for where they are, if we do not, we will always be let down. And, finally, the truth is this: We don’t trust others because we are the ones who have untrustworthy behaviors. We do not trust OURSELVES! Oh! Faith and trust in my ability to tell myself the truth is the thing that drives this faith thing.

I have let myself down so many times. It is NOT you I don’t trust, it is me. As I said, we are the liars, cheats and thieves who most often act badly and break our own hearts. Not others, not the Universal Power, but US! And we CAN change! And we DO recover! But we must know, first what the problem really is. Peace!