March 6

FAITH MONTH: DAY 6: “It’s faith in something and enthusiasm for something that makes a life worth living.” ― Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.

This is IT!!! I have faith in goodness, kindness, truth, and the ability of life to correct itself in all ways. I have a part to play in these areas. Especially as they pertain to my personal life.

Once I know where the boundaries between MY stuff and YOUR stuff lie, I can work within those boundaries to be the best and highest human I know how. This will take about 25 lifetimes if my current progress is any indicator. I really want to stretch and grow and be better in so many ways.

My small, limited mind enjoys my foibles and missteps and tells me… (here they are again folks, the Screaming Purple Monkeys! SPM) …that I am doomed to be a small-minded, nasty, lying, petty, jealous and judgmental person all my days. I do NOT believe this.

There is work to be done, both on my behaviors and on the beliefs about these things. But I have faith, because I can see the progress.

I am not set up for kindness. I have known kind people. This is something I must work to become. I am set to be those things I listed above if I am given 5 seconds to let the SPM run the show. So, I take contrary action.

The same holds for truth. It is promising that I lie less and less often to myself, which is the key to being honest.

And I believe we are all good people, doing whatever we can and working toward a better way of being in the world. I have not met the person who is truly unable to display goodness in their hearts. And I know some pretty sketchy folks…lol!

If we are ALL God’s kids, and I think we are, then we are created in love and with love. So, the only thing that keeps us from that space is the way we perceive the world and ourselves.

When I believed I was bad, I allowed myself to act that way more often than not. I believed the SPM and let them drive the bus right over the cliff. Way too often!

When I met you guys, you didn’t care about any of that. Or, if you did, you were generous enough to keep it to yourself! Thank you very much!

So, I could see myself in a different perspective, and this gave me hope that I could become the kind of person that lived in my heart, not my head. You told me that I had to do that by making a decision to turn my will and my life over. Ok!

And I began to understand that the voice of reason came from my heart, not my head. I could see that very clearly in hearing it when I meditated. My early meditations were a bit humorous, but they began to inform me. I felt calm and peaceful. There was something out there I could trust, and it did NOT come from SPM.

YAY!! And I kept at it, and I kept emptying my brain by writing and doing gratitude lists that taught me my mind was not my friend. That there was a whole new way of seeing life and the world around me. And I began to feel that in my heart.

My heart began to give me a greater sense of peace with you and me and life. That was fantastic! I am so grateful for that peace. I was okay, you were okay, life was okay. Wow!

And I never lost my enthusiasm for this work, for recovery, for learning more about who I am, who the SPM were and how we could live together without conflict. And I have never stopped talking to others about this thing, or writing about it or making it the focus of my life.

I will talk about recovery with anyone, anywhere, at any time. I prefer small groups, but I can do hundreds at a time. It just doesn’t feel quite as personal. And I can do it without judgment or fear of judgment. THAT alone gives me chills! I did NOT believe I could live free of judgment or fear of judgment. And I do! And I love it! And all I want is MORE!!!