March 1

FAITH MONTH: DAY 1: “Believe in a love that is being stored up for you like an inheritance, and have faith that in this love there is a strength and a blessing so large that you can travel as far as you wish without having to step outside it.” ― Rainer Maria Rilke

This is my take on spirit. This is what, I believe, it feels like to sit with the Power of the Universe. What others call God. I am reluctant to use that term, because of the associations I received in this life with that word.

However, I know this place is inside my heart. I have been there. And when I can sit in that space, I fell the love this amazing poet writes about. Rumi, also, writes of the Beloved and Love in the same voice. My faith is such that if I am sitting in this place, I have nothing else to offer you or you or you but my love, without judgment, even when I don’t particularly like you.

If I practice Step 3 and continuously turn my life and my will over to the care of this love, I am free. I am in the space where I do not see or feel a disconnection between me and that Power. I am in that Power and that Power is in me. We are the same. I am not only made in Its image, I AM the image. And it is I. The ancients even called the Power I AM.

So, my faith has grown tremendously through this process of recovery. And that is the way I had hoped it would be. I got hope here, and it grew into Faith. There have been many questions and a great deal of “figuring it out”, which is a great thing to do. Defining this Power has taken up a lot of my life, but the search is a worthy one and the rewards are great.

Because the treasure I sought is mine today, most of the time. When I fall down and question whether I can get back up, or I travel downward into the spiral of my crazy thinking, listening to the SPM…you know who THEY are; I am given the quiet voice that says, “Okay, honey. We will do it again tomorrow.”

So, I get enough Power for the day. Only one. And I must continue to show up to the Power every morning and check in for duty.
And I do. Because this is so amazing that I never want to forget what it felt like before and what it feels like today. There is no bridge that I can build between the two, because the path travels up hills and down into deep, sometimes very dark, valleys; in sunshine and rain, through sickness and health, all around the place.

And, yet, here I am, telling you that this life of love, this turning over of my life and my will, this decision I make every day, is the beginning of something greater and more magnificent than I ever could have imagined. And that is what it is, even when there is fear and pain and darkness clouds my sunshine. The thing, the Power, is greater than all of THAT. Trust me, I know. We are so richly blessed by this love!