February 22

HOPE MONTH: DAY 22: “We’re called to be faithful, to take those first difficult steps–and to leave the results up to God.” ― Alex Harris

Step 2 is something that we work, I believe, in a process. At least that was my experience. I did not “believe” I could be restored to sanity right away. As a friend of mine says it: “We come to agree-that it happens for others; then we come to hope it can happen for us; after some time, we come to believe.” I agree that this is pretty much the way it happened for me.

Or, as an old bumper sticker from the 1980s stated: “We Came…We Came To…We Came To Believe.” Yes!

So, our hope is that it will work, that something, somewhere is going to stop the insanity of our drug and alcohol use and abuse. This is why Hope is the principle of this step. We need to believe that we are redeemable, that our lives can be turned around, that we can be saved from our own crazy beliefs and ways of living.

This is, for me, a very long process. I had that hope early on. Many years later, it is just beginning to be recognized as having taken place by me. What I mean by that is that I did not recognize the depth of the insanity until after many years of writing inventories and seeing the patterns of behavior that were driven by my old ideas.

This is a huge concept! We do not get restored to sanity when we stop drinking and using drugs. We get restored to sanity when we UNLEARN all the crap we have attached ourselves to over the course of a lifetime.

Uncover, discover, and discard! That means we will continuously examine old ideas and patterns of behavior that stand in the way of our relationship to God and self. (I happen to believe they are one and the same!)

So, we must begin this work for the long haul. We must be diligent and consistent and dedicated to the idea that we spent a lot of years wandering in the wrong direction and believing the wrong things about life. We spent a great many years allowing the ego to run the show.

NOW, we get to let go of those beliefs and behaviors and get on with living a better life. This deal is a tremendous gift. We must open the package every day and use it. Not just sit in a meeting and talk a load of caca, but walk through the world with a new attitude and a new set of behaviors.

We must let go of what the ego tells us is happening and open our minds, through meditation and writing, to what is really going on. After about 20 years or so, we are slowly restored to a sense of reasonableness, then, maybe…sanity. Woohoo!

And we don’t figure out for ourselves, or anyone else, how that is going to unfold. We just step out, each day, one day at a time, and do the thing that is in front of us to do. That is all. And that is everything!

I wrote earlier that we do this with meditation and writing. For me, my gratitude practice is the greatest prayer there is. Step 11 tells us exactly how to pray. “…praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry it out.”

So, I go to the place where Chuck C. went with that. I thank the Universe every day for a whole list of things. This keeps me right-sized. I do not ask for anything for you or me or anyone. I do not ask the Universe to do MY will! That is not a prayer, it is more like talking to the Universe like Santa Claus. I do not pray for things to be done a certain way. I do not pray for you or anyone to be safe or healed from cancer or any of that shit. I pray for His will for me and the power to carry it out. Since I have never received a FAX from anywhere, I just assume I will be interrupted at any point in time when I am NOT doing His will. That seems to be the case so far. And I say thank you, rather than begging for anything.

Once of my favorite quotes says that: “The most perfect prayer is ‘Thank you’”. I could not agree more!

So, my spiritual life is spent primarily in listening. A great deal of listening. I find this is the best way to deal with spirit. I get what I need, just when I need it.

All the time, every day. I have been restored to a state of happiness, freedom, and peace. If that is what you were looking for in drugs and alcohol, ME TOO! And it never came from them. But it has come to pass in this deal…and I love it!