HOPE MONTH: DAY 15: “Those who make us believe that anything’s possible and fire our imagination over the long haul, are often the ones who have survived the bleakest of circumstances. The men and women who have every reason to despair, but don’t, may have the most to teach us, not only about how to hold true to our beliefs, but about how such a life can bring about seemingly impossible social change.” ― Paul Rogat Loeb
Many of us have stories that are filled with disappointment, trauma, sadness, grief and self-destruction at levels that are challenging to encompass. We are success stories in recovery, because we learn to live and let live, and to change our stories for the better by becoming useful and productive members of a society that once desired to throw us away.
We hear stories every day of the transformational properties of applying 12 steps to our attitudes and behaviors; along with applying 12 principles to our daily lives and the practice of those two, in combination with remaining abstinent from drugs and alcohol, is a phenomenon so great that others are inspired and filled with hope.
No one in these rooms could deal with life without drugs and alcohol. To live life based on stopping substance abuse, finding renewed purpose and a new path is a tremendous shift. When we share this in meetings, we are holding out hope for others that they, too, can follow this path.
The stories I see being transformed are the truly terrible lives that had no hope for redemption or change. Motivation is hard to find in some cases, because there is so much to overcome. However, many will recognize the truth that the lower the bottom, often the best chances for recovery. Sometimes the most desperately ill are the greatest miracles.
We see this all the time. When we have little left to lose, we seem to grasp more tightly to the things that need to be done to recover. The more relief we get at any given time in this deal, the more danger we seem to be in for relapse.
There are some amazing people who come into this recovery process. Sadly, they may get their lives back on track and forget the pain of being who they were being when they came in. We watch them go in and out for years, wanting to do more to give them a hand, and, often, doing more for them than they want to do for themselves.
We share our experience, strength and hope. With any luck, we are not sharing the dramas of our drinking and using, because we all get that. What we need to share, in my experience, is the feelings of what our active using and drinking brought to the table. Where we ended up on that last spree. Not the saga of childhood and escalating use. To me, that is a common thread that does not help anyone get their foot in the door of recovery.
I did not get anything out of the drug- or drunk-alogs, but from the experience of those who spoke to me about recovery. I want THAT. Tell me, please, more about how to work the steps and practice spiritual principles in my life.
Reassure me that, no matter how desperate and sick (both physically and emotionally) and no matter how heartbroken I am, I can recover. That there is no such thing as too deep a bottom. This is what I need to hear. Talk about the book and the readings and bring them to life for me.
Teach me about sponsorship that doesn’t tell me what to do, but allows me to access my own sense of direction and find the path that is waiting for me to travel. Teach me about how to sit quietly and listen for direction when the Screaming Purple Monkeys are dancing on top of my head at 3:00 am.
Teach me how you got through the days of wanting to use or drink, and the days of grief and fear and sorrow and happiness too.
These are your strengths. I need them, too. And, lastly, please give me your hope for me. Give me the idea that I am not a throw-away. That no matter how badly I have behaved and no matter what damages I have created, I am a possibility. Help me transform my life from IMPOSSIBLE to I’M POSSIBLE. That, I believe, is the message of hope we need to focus on around here.
Dolphin Hug 