HOPE MONTH: DAY 10: “Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.” ― Steve Jobs
Nothing you fear is real. Nothing ego makes up to remain in control of your life is real. These are stories you sit and play with to believe that you have something you do not have…power.
If I have completely accepted my powerlessness over life itself, I am completely free of ego. I cannot ever control anything, including the time and place and means of my own dying.
Even suicide is not always successful. I quit killing myself when I realized I might fail and have to live with the consequences of a bullet hole in my head or brain damage from a drug overdose or the broken body I would get from running in front of a semi on the freeway. Shit!
So, all I can do is live the best way possible. I know today that I have to live without drugs and alcohol and eating myself to death or starving myself to death, or in any other way buy into the crazy shit my ego tells me to do to distract me from this moment.
Ego is all about projection and fear. It controls me through its dire threats about what is coming. The antithesis is living life in this moment, one day at a time; never in analyzing or spending a great deal of time fighting the ego.
I lost all the battles there can be with my ego. I quit. I laid down and realized I am powerless over this subtle liar, the only true hell and devil I have ever believed in.
If hell is me living the way my ego believes I should live; then recovery means that there is a great deal more work for me to do than just stay away from drugs and alcohol. Being loaded is not the worst thing that ever happened to me.
Living inside my thinking and with all the fear driving the bus is the WORST thing that ever happened to me. Surviving THAT without drugs and alcohol was brutal! So, I deepened my step work to get past where that hell was. Today I am free of it all. So happy and so grateful for this gift.
What that means is that I continue to deepen love and light and walk away from hell. I do not buy into the ego and the intellectual analyzing of my thinking.
I just walk from all of it and get on with shifting my focus OFF my head and into my heart. I do what is truly best for me and my health and what is put in front of me. There are wonderful opportunities all around to be of simple service to others.
I want to never waste one more moment of this beautiful life on ego or its insane dynamics. I love to guide others to this place. It is the best gift I can receive and give, every day, all the time.
In every context, I can see the miracles of life all around. How can I not want to live forever in this space?
Dolphin Hug 