HOPE MONTH: DAY 6: “There is a saying in Tibetan, ‘Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength.’
No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that’s our real disaster.” ― Dalai Lama XIV
There is little in the world I would label a “tragedy” at this time in life. That was not always the case. I used to spin from one major event to another, with the speed of light. My life was such a big deal! I talked about it incessantly, always going into gruesome detail to dramatize it. My ego walked into the room 2 steps ahead of me to scan for those who (I believed) wanted and needed to know my newest major drama. Ugh!
I find it embarrassing today to recognize that this is still the thinking that lives inside me, although I am not nearly as inclined to do this. While there are personal things I share with others to help their progress or to illustrate a point, I am not the drama queen I once was.
Today, those events have illumined my understanding of life. It is all about the process of being in the moment. Not reliving drama, nor creating it today for what I believe is certain tragedy looming ahead. The hope, for me, is that we get right-sized and stop believing that our “stories” are so damned important and big that others want or need to hear them. Or that they even matter to US. Yay! It is okay to relate the events, but the stories we make up around them are crazy!
Ego needs big emotions, big drama, big tragedy. The story of the boy who cried “Wolf!” is illustrative in this regard. When we are filled with drama all the time, we are unable to show up for our lives, because we are living in our heads. If something does occur that can be a real tragedy, it is hard for others to take us seriously or to believe us.
I was raised in a family like this. Little things were big deals. The big deals were never spoken of. It is terribly confusing to a child when we are learning how to navigate the world around us. The things that caused the deepest wounds are still not spoken of in my family. They do not want to engage with me in these conversations. I go to my sponsor and recovery friends for that.
We must find ways of downplaying our ego. We must, or we lose hope because we catastrophize all our moments. We will all have bad health, we will all have financial worries, we will all have fear of life that we walk through. We will, most of us, have surgeries, dental work, bad hair days, sick families and children, friends and loved ones who die.
It is knowing how to be present only with the moment-by-moment living of these things that indicates recovery. Running around with the drama is not about recovery; it is about ego.
Step Two says our lives CAN be returned to sanity. Us believing that is all about stopping the drama and letting that happen. I love the saying in the book that states: “We match calamity with serenity.” Sometimes, it is just a matter of “Fake it till you make it.” Stop acting crazy and listening to the ego (Screaming Purple Monkeys) and act as if you have hope for solutions. Guess what? You do and you always will…loving this saner way of life!
Dolphin Hug 