ACCEPTANCE MONTH: DAY 27: “My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance, and in inverse proportion to my expectations.” ― Michael J. Fox
Being in recovery, living in recovery, means I must let go of what I expect. Even if you tell me that you are going or not going to do something, you may not be able or willing to do that or not do that. I know, because this is what we all experience in life.
Integrity and our personal growth into becoming integral, require that we meet our obligations with as much energy as we can muster. However, it may mean that from time to time we disappoint others who are attached to outcomes that do not develop as a part of that. This, too, is our humanity and the way of life.
If you expect anything from me, it is absolutely going to lead you to disappointment, and from there, possible resentment. It is a guarantee!
If you expect anything from life, it is absolutely going to lead you to disappointment, and from there, possible resentment. This, too, is a guarantee.
We don’t know so many things. Why birds sing, why stars twinkle, why we think some of the things we do. All I know for sure is I must let go of all expectations for my life to feel happy, joyous and free.
I can only expect that everyone, every single one of us, is doing all they can to do what is right and good. As addicts, your tendency is most often going to be in the direction of self-interest, for a very long time, possibly forever, depending on your spiritual fitness at any given time. Left to your own devices, chances are very good that you will do what is best and right for YOU when you are feeling trapped, in a corner, or faced with opposition/fear.
I get that. I expect nothing less, and I accept you at that level. I understand human nature and expect that you will always behave in ways that may make sense only to you. Okay. I accept that. I may not like it, nor do I need to place myself in situations where it impacts MY life. But accept it I must.
This is what we must learn to do; to accept each other, just as we are; doing whatever we need to do. If I have expectations of you other than that, I WILL be disappointed, which may lead to possible resentment, etc. Repeatedly!
We must WAKE UP and recognize what we are expecting from others. Just because I tell you I don’t like it when you lie to yourself and me does not mean that you are not going to do it again. Actually, the exact opposite is true.
If I know you have lied, it is probable that you will continue to lie. For the purposes that you devise to explain why you lie. Not my business, it is NOT about me. You are a liar. That is all. I get it. And shame on me for being disappointed when you lie.
This is like the Buddhist story of the frog and the scorpion. We should realize that everyone has an agenda that is different from ours and allow them to act accordingly. Then we are not let down, angry or taking it personally when someone does something according to their nature; ESPECIALLY when we don’t like it.
This is big stuff, important stuff. Acceptance truly is the key to happiness and good relationships and all that we were unsuccessful in bringing to our lives before recovery.
Dolphin Hug 