January 24

ACCEPTANCE MONTH: DAY 24: “It was being a runner that mattered, not how fast or how far I could run. The joy was in the act of running and in the journey, not in the destination. We have a better chance of seeing where we are when we stop trying to get somewhere else. We can enjoy every moment of movement, as long as where we are is as good as where we’d like to be. That’s not to say that you need to be satisfied forever with where you are today. But you need to honor what you’ve accomplished, rather than thinking of what’s left to be done.” ― John Bingham

I used to run, and I loved to run. Still do, although my body says something different. Running was such a joy. The only time I did NOT enjoy running was when I was with someone who was competitive or needed to “win” a race I did not know I was running.

I just love feeling the power of running. My feet going and my legs going, it is a wonderful sensation to me. It was not about competition, nor am I any good at racing. I just enjoy the journey.

This is analogy for me and life. I am not a competitive person until my ego kicks in and tries to “win” at something. I have nothing to prove until I feel that ego challenge or a dare to do something, then I feel like I must prove myself. This happens less and less often for me. I used to do it all the time in my car, in a classroom, and in many other arenas.

Today there is nothing to win, nothing to prove. I believe this is the process of recovery working in my life, usually against the will of my enormous ego. And I do NOT see a problem with being satisfied with where I am. Being content is the bigger part of letting go and accepting my life, exactly as it is!

And I have, and I can, and I do.

Until I know that this moment is perfect, the next cannot be perfect either. All is well. All is perfect. And there is nothing to shift or change, because that is NOT my job.

There are things about myself that I work to correct or improve. I want to do things more gently in the world. It is not my style, so that is a constant and ongoing work for me. I am not delicate, nor do I have the inclination to be so. However, I can practice being more diplomatic and mindful with my words when I speak. This is a practice.

I have some strong prejudices around laziness and sloth. I tend to be intolerant of those traits, because I do not have them. But, there is a need for me to embrace those folks who are lazy and slothful and not condemn them to hell just because I find that unacceptable.

Now I know I really need to work on my acceptance with inclement weather, even though I have managed to live in a place where there is little of it. I somehow feel like my life is on hold because the weather does not allow me to go about outdoors the way I enjoy. Hahaha! So, I learn to do “inside” things on those days. They are few and far between, so, REALLY?!

I also thank God every day for what I have been able to do and what I am working on NOW. As my favorite Guru said: “What a long, strange trip it’s been.”