ACCEPTANCE MONTH: DAY 12: “The end of a melody is not its goal: but nonetheless, had the melody not reached its end it would not have reached its goal either. A parable.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche
Yes. A lifetime is only fully accomplished when we die. Why? Because it is not yet completed. We are living to a certain end, but we forget that as it goes.
Most of us forget that we are going to die; in fact, we choose to forget it. The ego does not want us to be in that frame of mind, because the ego focuses on resolving “mind” conflicts. However, that does not really happen, because it can only “defend” us from truth. When we look at ego defenses, though, we can easily see that they are not of any use in life at all.
How then, do we get so enamored of these defenses that we use them, long into knowing they are not any good for us? Why would we do that? Well, there are a great many reasons for this; some of them are about addiction, and some of them are about standards and norms of western culture, and some of them are about being too lazy to really examine the thinking we use each day.
There are a great number of folks who do not, even though it is clearly listed as an important part of our Step 11, meditate. They read something and think about it. That is NOT meditation. There are many forms of meditation, but none of them involve thinking. Thank God!
Ego does not want us to meditate. In actual practice, it leads to peace of mind and calmness. This is poison to the ego. Ego speaks only to destruction and gloom and doom. Why? Because then it can utilize those “defenses” of fear. Not one of which is useful.
So, as the BB states, the ego must be smashed! To smithereens if possible. Sadly, this takes a great number of years and many times working through the steps and daily meditation and all the 12-step process. It comes back so quickly.
Emotions trigger ego responses for most of us…forever! To believe we can do anything once and get it out of our systems is the biggest lie addicts tell themselves.
So, the first part of ego is denial…it is part and parcel of the process of living that we deny all that is unfamiliar to us. With a practiced ego, such as one found in most addicts, denial is our default setting. We are afraid of everything we do not immediately find familiar. Not good, because our familiarity with life is on bad terms.
So, we deny life itself and defend ourselves against it. This looks like running the show the same way we did loaded. Yep! Been there, done that! And when we deny life, we deny death. Then we deny all change…a very interesting concept, because that is all the Universe has to offer…continual, ongoing change…all the time, forever.
Stand up for your right to be right and see where it goes…nowhere! You are butting your head up against some powerful stuff there…and it hurts!
So, we come to understand that the ONLY way to succeed here is to accept the idea of change. I will change, you will change, life will change, the world will change, the Universe will change…oh yeah! Already did, and again, and again! And there is NOTHING we can do to stop that or control it or live without it. OK!
This calls for Acceptance on a scale that most of us are not able to accomplish for quite a long time around here. How do I get there? One minute at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time, one week at a time, one month at a time, one year at a time, and on forever!
Sponsees ask me how we get through this time of fear and not use or drink…just like I said, one minute at a time, etc. It happens So slowly. Why? I guess because of the defenses we put up against it. So, thank God for the steps…this is why we need them again and again and again. YAY!!
Dolphin Hug 