LOVE MONTH: DAY 31: “People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.
A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master…” ― Elizabeth Gilbert
This kind of “love” quote is far easier to gather than the ones that speak to a generalized kind of love. I had several that dealt with male-female love relationships. That is what many of us focus on wanting in our lives.
This quote, however, totally resonates with me. I met my soul mate on my first day of treatment. We did not know it then, but our lives began to become interfaced on that day. And many years later, with a lot of different kinds of interface, we got together in a romantic relationship and were subsequently married. I relate this quote to that time in my life.
It was short and very, very sweet. I received the kind of earth-shaking experience this quote speaks about. I am forever changed.
I have had several other soul mates. I agree with Ms. Gilbert on this premise. They are the people who have come into my life with sledgehammers and broken up the concrete of old ideas for me. They have shown me my biggest flaws and character defects and who I truly am when I get to the heart of myself.
I did not like most of these people. With my husband, I did. He truly shined the light on my fears and how I lived with them and projected them out into the world around me.
It was, and is, a powerful lesson. I was afraid to love someone that much, because I knew I would die if they left me. I did and he did. Great stuff! And my life truly shifted into another whole dimension with that time in it. What a magnificent teacher and soul mate he was.
Another was a person with whom I had to interact daily for over 7 years. A great teacher and soul mate. His lessons came to me early on. The others have been of shorter duration.
And just when I thought I had cleared up so much stuff there could not be any more, this year I get to sit with a soul mate I truly hated every day for over 10 months and who is in my life right now, emotionally, not physically. He came to teach me a great deal more about this love thing than I ever could have imagined. I am grateful.
There were two such folks in my life these last couple of years and I am still reaping the benefit of what they taught. It is all an amazing journey into love and my heart that I did not see coming, nor do I understand it while it is going on. That is the beauty of love, it sometimes hides in the most astonishing places. What a tremendous gift that is!
We are ending this year and reflecting. I am pleased with the writing I have done this year and cannot wait to begin with Step 1 and the principle of Acceptance tomorrow. I am very pleased and proud of the things I have accomplished during this year. The world around me is a mess, and I have little-or-no part to play in that, so my focus is only on what I have done that pleases me.
Thus, I am inclined to do more of that, rather than looking at what did not happen. Today I love that gratitude practice has shifted my focus on what is right and good and productive, rather than that old addict mind-set of negativity and chronic malcontentment. Be happy and well and shift your focus in this New Year…blessings and love!
Dolphin Hug 