LOVE MONTH: DAY 24: “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” ― Robert A. Heinlein
Watching the world today is interesting. In the season of LOVE, my highest goal is to manifest only that in the world around me.
I am not focused on making others happy, because that is something I have worked to move away from. I am not engaged in that being my supreme effort like I once was. I am a terrible people pleaser and hated those who did not succumb to my efforts. Most of all, I hated myself.
That dance is over for me today. BUT, I will say that I get the idea of being more concerned with others’ happiness than with my own.
That is a path I can tread, if I am mindful of not behaving in ways that are detrimental to my own path. It is an interesting dynamic; at least to me.
I can put myself second to those with whom I am serving. And this is different from that people pleasing thing I used to do. That was so phony. And I hate phonies. So, I hated myself most of all and blamed you for being such a phony.
In my work, I see a lot of this. Our culture fosters and nurtures some really codependent behaviors and addiction is rampant. So, we must look outside our culture for healthier ways of being in the world and in relationship.
Love is such a powerful concept. My greatest take on it is to love you enough to leave you alone and allow you to live exactly the way you want. That is really challenging. When we come together, I will engage with you at the level of exchange that I am comfortable with, based on our mutual understanding and engagement together.
I continue to accept you as you are…that is the gift. And if you want to be part of my life, we can negotiate those things that are mutually-agreed-upon as acceptable and unacceptable behaviors. If we cannot agree, we will step back into a more casual space and interact only lightly and occasionally. I have had to do this with people who were once a very large part of my personal life.
And that space had to close to allow other relationships to develop and grow. This, I believe, is the natural flow of life and the energy around our growth and development as people.
I have never been comfortable with the concept of “forever”, either with friends or a partner. Why? Because what was the ideal 5 years ago, doesn’t fit today. Sometimes we can agree to grow in the same way and along the same lines to deepen our relationship, sometimes we do not.
That, I believe, is natural and how the Universe works. I have many friends who are casual in ways that we do not exchange deep and meaningful things when we meet. I don’t enjoy them like I do the folks with whom I can be more intimate, because I am not a big fan of the kiss-kiss, hug-hug kind of deal. I find it less satisfying to my spirit.
But I do have acceptance and love for that, as well. It is not something I look for or long for, but it is how the world works. I consider my tribe to be those who are available for deeper and more significant exchanges of energy. Big ideas and strong emotional substance.
So, the quote today was odd for me…all the quotes I read were not what I wanted to write about. I am in a different space than when I gathered them and could not find what I wanted to say. I don’t believe that I have yet. Today is an off day for me, so let this be that. I can accept it right now.
Dolphin Hug 