November 30

GRATITUDE MONTH: DAY 30: “True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing. The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not.” ― Seneca

So, we need to live with how things are…this is all about Acceptance and Truth. Addicts love to live in a fantasy land inside our heads, where everything is shiny and sparkly and we are princes and princesses.

That isn’t real, nor is it TODAY.

Ego tells us to reject all reality for what is coming. Sadly, it then tells us that what is coming is HORRIBLE, TERRIFYING, EVIL, WORSE THAN EVERYTHING!!!…dun…dun…dun…! So, we begin to panic and fear kicks in and drives the bus, headed for off the cliff, because we know it’s going to be horrible, etc. anyway. So, we have a fantasy world on one hand, which is what we want; and ego’s version of what is coming on the other hand, which does not exist. Why do you suppose we destroy our lives all the time, while believing it is everyone else?

Most people have this ego-based fear, not just addicts. However, we live in it more than most. And we are also GIFTED with the steps that bring us back to our faulty perceptions of life.

Had this conversation yesterday…about the two words I don’t allow the addicts I sponsor to use: “If” and “Try”. Yoda says…” Try not. Do or do not. There is no try.” And the word “if” is a terrible word. One we need to eliminate from our vocabularies in recovery. Why? Because any time that word is included in a sentence, everything after the word is a fantasy, does not exist and needs to be thrown away.

You get it! We need to look at life, right now, this minute…and LOVE every single thing… just the way it is, right here, right now. We cannot live for some imagined someday that does not exist, when we are rich (!?); when we are thinner or fatter or have had the plastic surgery(s!?); when we receive the degrees or the new house, car, etc.

When that is what we are basing our lives on, there is never TODAY. There is never anything to be happy about, because UPS is going to deliver it tomorrow or the next week or the next year. Meanwhile, we are slogging through life, feeling pathetic and miserable because we have to work and pay bills and go to the dentist or have a cold or what the hell ever!

Stop it! Get real with who you are…accept it. Move on! Do what is in front of you and be in love with the miraculous breath in your lungs, the miraculous world you get to see and hear and all the amazing people (yes, even the assholes) that you get to meet every day. Be amazed and grateful for the opportunity to think well enough that you CAN work or go to school or figure out how to pay a bill or how to use a phone.

Be content and rich with all that surrounds you now. I can guarantee that it is WAY more than over ½ of the world’s population can see as part of their lives.

I had an amazing experience with a friend who travelled to a remote village in Nepal. The village was full of Tibetan refugees who lived in a camp made of stone huts with stone slabs they slept on and had a fire pit in the center of each hut.

This man told me he was travelling and could take two suitcases with him and wanted to fill them with coats and hats and scarves and sweaters for the village because they lived in a high area of the Himalayas. So, I gave him as many as he could cram in. Most of them were from my own stash, camping things and all.

When he returned, he told the following story in our regular 7:00 am meeting: “I took the suitcases to the middle of the compound and laid them in the middle of the people who gathered to greet me. They did not respond, so I grabbed an item and handed it to one child, and another and another until they were gone. They had never received gifts before, so they did not know what to do. They kept putting them back in the suitcases. Then one woman put a sweater over her little one’s head and they began to put them on. They stood in a circle and looked at me and tears ran down everyone’s cheeks. The interpreter asked me if I could come back to visit the camp on my way home in a week. I said okay. When I went back in a week, I was told that the whole village worked in a rug factory nearby in exchange for two bowls of food each day, their only food. Each evening, the members of the village brought home fibers from the factory and wove two fiber belts, one for me and one for the woman who supplied the warm clothing. They also used some rice bark and made packets of paper and envelopes for each of us with beautiful stamped designs on them. It was astonishing, because I have travelled all over the world and received many accolades and gifts from people (he is a film maker); but this is the first time EVER that I have received a gift from someone who gave me more than they owned!”

He was crying and he gave me the belt and paper. I have them still. They are treasures to remind me that what I have is so abundant that it can LITERALLY change the life of someone whom I may never meet. I corresponded for several years with his translator, who sent me a Christmas card that same year. I was astonished at her mindfulness, in a culture of deep sorrow for the loss of their homeland, their leader, everything they had, this woman remembered our silly tradition of sending cards to people we seldom bother to acknowledge, except once a year, during a holiday they do not understand or honor in their rich culture and religion! What a gift! This, to me, demonstrates the full range of what gratitude truly is. I have been taught by Masters of the craft of gratitude and appreciation. Why would I not teach what has been so richly handed to me?