GRATITUDE MONTH: DAY 25: “In the end, though, maybe we must all give up trying to pay back the people in this world who sustain our lives. In the end, maybe it’s wiser to surrender before the miraculous scope of human generosity and to just keep saying thank you, forever and sincerely, for as long as we have voices.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert
It is our inherent nature to give to those we love. We all do it, in the spirit of fellowship and joining that, I believe, is part of our human nature. Some folks will do it in the spirit of control or manipulation, but we always know what is going on when we are honest with ourselves.
Yet, if our nature tells us to share with others, we must always be mindful of those who share with us. Most addicts have egos that tell us we should help others, give to our friends and families; and, yet have little or no ability to receive graciously. We have strict ideas in our minds about worthiness and our role in the world as having not deserved to receive from others.
Even receiving a compliment is suspect to us. Why is that? I believe there are two reasons; the first is that we suspect others based on our own motivation, which can be very self-centered and selfish. The other reason, I believe, is that we like to be magnanimous and generous to “show off” too often, as that feeds our ego and our sometimes-over-inflated sense of self and who we are in the world. Most addicts tend to be full of self-importance to mask their low self-esteem.
So, what if we are all just a little kinder to others, without going over-board or doing more for them than they need to have done? Giving in small doses is a good thing.
And we must learn to receive. This is a personal challenge for me. I have always been good at giving, but not receiving. And I must be mindful to accept gifts, compliments, and grace equally well and graciously. That is why my gratitude practice is such an important part of recovery.
My ability to see what is wrong and missing from my life has been fine-tuned for far too long. It is important for me to balance it with recognizing what is perfect, full, rich, and abundant in my world. And then I can “surrender to the scope of human (and non-human) generosity.” The Universe has gifted me with a million blessings, and those I must remain mindful and grateful about.
So, a million, billion, trillion thanks to all and for all today. That is what I am here to do. If my greatest gift might be my big mouth and my ability to write it down in words as well, then let the message I carry be that “Grateful people are happy people, and them that ain’t, ain’t.”
Dolphin Hug 