GRATITUDE MONTH: DAY 15: “To be grateful is to recognize the Love of God in everything He has given us – and He has given us everything. Every breath we draw is a gift of His love, every moment of existence is a grace, for it brings with it immense graces from Him.
Gratitude therefore takes nothing for granted, is never unresponsive, is constantly awakening to new wonder and to praise of the goodness of God. For the grateful person knows that God is good, not by hearsay but by experience. And that is what makes all the difference.” ― Thomas Merton
Yeah, I have a whole new practice since last year that was not part of what I was doing before. This whole thing continues to grow for me. Having conversation about gratitude makes it more powerful than it was a few moments before. And I get to have a lot of conversations with gratitude.
Sometimes it is hard for us to recognize the grace of the present moment, because it may be bringing us discomfort and it does not look like what we think we want. I am always amazed that I get the life I am here to live, not the one I wish for like a little kid sitting on Santa’s lap.
My ideas are restricted, because I do not know how to create the idea of something that is not part of my experience. If my experience is only of things already done, seen, felt, or touched upon by myself and others, I cannot create a future out of that. Why? Because it is already past. I do NOT want to create the past repeatedly, like “Groundhog Day.” There was a powerful message in that movie about how we dream and how we create safety by redoing all the same old stuff, over and over.
So, I am here to live into the unknown, the miraculous, the never-before dreamed of and about. I will always be amazed and astonished, because that is all that I can be when I look around and say, “Really? This is what You think is right for me?”
I had an interesting conversation with someone yesterday where I was telling someone about a couple of situations in my marriage and how I handled them. She looked at me and said, “Wow, you have such a strong sense of self and your personal boundaries.” And I said to her, “Yes, they are the gifts of all the people who violated me in the early years of my life. First I got mad and fought like a tiger for my rights. Then I got determined that I was going to be strong and not let people take things from me I was no longer willing to give.”
And, again, I got to say “Thank you” to those teachers. They brought me gifts many people never learn how to unwrap. We can stay in our victim stance, or we can become strong people who do things without anger or resentment, but learn how to stand up for ourselves without traumatizing others. This is a life-long lesson, some never get it. I am grateful for the early education and the early training in fierceness that softened into this strong sense of who I am and who I am NOT.
So, I can easily see the Love of God in those situations that I thought were meant to damage me. They were gifts to give me my identity and power. Not too many people will deny I am powerful. I do not deny it, either. It frightens many people. I am good with that. I am not mean; nor am I cruel. But I AM powerful. That is lovely, to me; and I can thank those who harmed me at one time or another. I get to take those things and transmute them into power.
It is like burning something you dislike to run your car or a generator that operates on garbage. We get to use those gifts we are given to see the world as hostile and mean; and then live in continual fear of life; OR we get to see the beauty and grace and perfection of ALL life and live like a miracle worker…I know my choice…how about you?
Dolphin Hug 