GRATITUDE MONTH: DAY 3: “Just an observation: it is impossible to be both grateful and depressed. Those with a grateful mindset tend to see the message in the mess. And even though life may knock them down, the grateful find reasons, if even small ones, to get up.” ― Steve Maraboli
So, when I feel down, the first thing I do is find the good in the things that are going on and which I feel down about. I must always be mindful of that with which I work…screaming purple monkeys! They do NOT want me to be happy about ANYTHING!
The minute I feel joy bubbling up from within, purple monkeys start screaming…NO! It’s a hoax! You are going to regret it! It isn’t REALLY happening! Etc., etc., etc.
So, I immediately start telling myself what is good and fine about my life…I am healthy, I have a long time without substance use or abuse, I can walk for miles and love it, I live at the beach, so on and so forth.
What a great gift it is to quiet the purple monkeys in mid scream! It did not take that long, either. They really love to tell me that I am a liar and that I am lying to myself and to them.
So what? What difference does it make? I remember thinking that you fools around here were all full of BS and lying to me about recovery when I was new.
Then I realized it didn’t matter if you were lying to me or not. I was being given this amazing gift and I wanted to find out for myself how it would work for me. So, I did what you said you did. And I began to feel good. I got the greatest high of my life working Step 5 and was hooked!
Step 11, the step for November, speaks about prayer and meditation. What I love is how simple this is. The step itself tells us what to pray for and how. Yay! Since I write a gratitude letter each day, I end with a couple of things that are standard each day.
One of them is to say thank you for “knowledge of (Your) Will for me and the power to carry it out.” That is how I was taught to work Step 11. No fancy prayers, even though there are a couple from the BB that I like. That is the beginning and end of it. Then I meditate, which has always been a big part of my recovery, because it, too, is conducive to quieting the screaming purple monkeys, at least after a few minutes.
And the praying like that is just perfect, for me. If I start asking for MY will, which is to talk to the Universe like Santa Claus, I am asking for my will. I don’t do that. I don’t pray for the health or benefit for others, I just pray that they, too get “knowledge of (Your) Will for them and the power to carry it out.” I do not have first-hand information about who is or who is not going to live another day or get their children back or anything. I REALLY don’t pray for others to get sober or not. That is NONE of my business!
And it would completely refute praying for “His Will for me…” or for anyone else. We are given such simple directions that most of us want to mess it up. So, I keep it very simple. I just say THANK YOU! a million times a day. And the funniest thing happens…I am so darn happy it scares me sometimes. It is the reason I drank and took drugs.
My worries don’t worry me. My cares are carefree. All concerns are shrugged off. I have nothing to carry on my shoulders. If the purple monkeys start their screaming, I just laugh it off. That is what I heard some of you say and what I was dubious about in the beginning. Now it is mine; if you want some too…come and do what we did!
Dolphin Hug 