DISCIPLINE MONTH: DAY 30: “Be creative while inventing ideas, but be disciplined while implementing them.” ― Amit Kalantri
Most of the addicts I have met are inherently creative folks who have lost their spark and sparkle. It might be that their creative nature is overridden by their addicted brain.
We probably all know those who seemed doomed to lose their battle with substances and had not been able to harness their creative forces any longer. We see it all around our culture, in sports, writing, acting, all kinds of creative pursuits are destroyed by addiction.
Isn’t it wonderful, then, to see what comes when we can clear the cobwebs from our minds and hearts and begin to function creatively again?
Life is a creative project, from beginning to end. We are creating our story every day. Interesting how we create it sometimes, but the re-writes are fabulous opportunities to transform. There is nothing more wonderful than to see our lives and our stories from a new and more empowering perspective!
Sponsorship in this deal, is, for me, the assignment to assist in reviewing and rewriting the stories to get that empowering transformation.
I have not met many who are not victimized by life, especially when addiction takes us to places we had no interest in going. All along the way, the dysfunction and trauma of life are overcome with the only coping mechanism we have at our command…drugs and alcohol!
So, of course we have the story to back up that plan! It is the perfect alibi for a life of destruction and ruin, and we hold on to it with all the fervor we can attain! Isn’t that amazing? I think so. I am never surprised by the depth and power of denial and its many clever guises.
I can say for sure that if we were to put all THAT creative energy to better purpose, we would all win Academy Awards for creative genius!
I have shared the creative story I had to explain my blackout drinking (which happened the very first time I drank and nearly every time after!) I did not know what was happening, I just know it scared the hell out of me! And I began to weave the story of Herbert J. Schwartz…who was the alter-ego that only came out when I drank. So, I carried an ID with my info and that name (along with a phony address, of course) with me when I went out drinking.
This was such an elaborate setup to explain something that happens to quite a few alcoholics; but I did not know that until I was nearly 60 days into this deal and heard someone share about it in a meeting. OMG! Another reason why I could work Step 2! It was so terrifying to believe I had a multiple personality than to admit it was the booze!
We adapt to trauma and denial and the stories we make up about our lives. Recovery gives us the blessing, if we are going to do this work, to see the truth and live with the fallout of letting go of our stories.
For me, Step 10 gives me the blessing of seeing the patterns of behavior I used to adapt to that shit that went on a LOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG time ago and to rethink my story. They are called ego defenses, and their only job is to protect my ego. And mine is as big as Ventura County! It has its own zip code…and the LAST thing it needs is protection.
I love the line in the BB that says…” our ego must be smashed or it will kill us.” (You book folks can correct this misquote if you like. Today my ego can take it.
I love to be creative…my life show that on so many levels. My energy flows and I am in the flow almost around the clock. I feel the way I took drugs to feel. Without a single pill or line or drink of anything except good natural food and green tea! It is amazing and I love it. Everything I wanted from drugs and alcohol is mine today…every single thing…what a great life we have here!
Dolphin Hug 