DISCIPLINE MONTH: DAY 26: “Steadiness comes from character and commitment.” – Yogi Bhajan
Now, this was my tea quote for this morning. Could not let that pass. It happens occasionally, but I have been drinking this tea for about 20 years, so most of the quotes are not pertinent to the topic of that month.
I love this one! It is also a quote I have not had before. I will say that I tend to get the same ones over and over.
If I use the “commitment” instead of “discipline”, most folks are more comfortable with that word choice. But the meaning is not the same. I can make a commitment to do something, but I need discipline to consistently fulfill that commitment.
My character seems to come into existence with the ongoing practice of these spiritual principles and applying them to my thinking and behavior. We are creatures of what we consistently and persistently think and do.
Therefore, if I consistently shirk my responsibilities and refuse to perform those things I have said I would do, I am not a creature of strong character. I remember my dad telling me I needed to develop a strong character to succeed in the world and I always said to him, “Who wants character?” I thought it was a silly concept.
And I lived like that for quite a few years in active addiction. I was completely untrustworthy and never honest. My integrity was shit, as was my character in every arena.
Today I make NO excuses for my behavior, but I clean it up and amend it by changing what is harmful to myself and others. This usually means a shift in my thinking and attitude, such as seeing where I am wrong and promptly admitting it.
We must learn to let go of the stories we have about why we are doing or not doing the things we said we would do. The stories are what we cling to that make others wrong for our misdeeds and bad behavior. There is no story to tell. Just admit we are wrong (promptly!) and get on with the cleanup, which is CHANGE!
There is no time or place when bad behavior or harmful attitudes are going to work on a new person, place or situation. If it is wrong today with Susie Smith, it is wrong tomorrow with Dave Jones. Get it? I cannot continue to believe the lies I have given myself (story) to explain why it is not really me that is wrong.
If I can convince myself it was all precipitated by someone else, I believe I am off the hook for the behavior…WRONG! If we find ourselves apologizing all the time for something, we are WRONG! And that means to change it! Wrong is wrong. There is no hat or dress or suit you can put on bad behavior to make it work. God knows we try.
So, this step is a tricky one, because we have to let go of the story, which is where all of our loopholes exist. I don’t care what motivates you, it is WRONG. Okay. So here we are…now we just ADMIT WE ARE WRONG, promptly. Then we clean it up. How? you ask.
By making the commitment to changing that stupid behavior. It doesn’t work. And when you make the commitment, discipline keeps it in place. Don’t apologize! If you do something harmful to me, I am going to accept it once, maybe twice.
But, believe me, that is it! When it continues to happen, I am really okay with letting you go. I am not here to live with your character defects. This means, if you continue to be rude, hateful, deceitful, etc. and think you can continue doing it by apologizing all the time, I don’t go there.
We are here to change. I change what doesn’t work with others. I expect the same thing in return. I am really okay with letting go of interactions with toxic people. It leaves room for those who are willing and working to change. And I do it all the time. And it is okay with me.
Dolphin Hug 