DISCIPLINE MONTH: DAY 23: Talent without discipline is like an octopus on roller skates. There’s plenty of movement, but you never know if it’s going to be forward, backwards, or sideways. – H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
I f-n LOVE this quote! Especially today. I don’t remember it particularly, because when I gather these, I do so many at once they all seem to blend together. However, this morning I so wanted to NOT do this writing and this quote made me laugh really hard at myself and my lack of discipline with this simple piece of work I do.
So, picturing myself to be an octopus on roller skates is fun. Most of the time, I am devoted to this and have an entire routine that takes me through the morning to this. Today I am off kilter, because I have had a couple of days with not feeling right and being very spacey.
We all have events and times when sticking to a discipline is a challenge. I certainly do. What I have learned is that I only feel better when I do those things I need to do anyway. Not because I want to do them, but because I feel better with having done them, no matter what!
I remember in very early recovery when I was still in the recovery home; being in conversation with the handsome man who worked there (and later became my beloved husband!), and he kept saying “We don’t use or drink, no matter what!”
Well, let me tell you…being the contentious addict I am, I looked for several years for reasons I thought were adequate to violate that mandate! I even kept a notebook. When I went to work with him a year later, I showed him the notebook and we talked about there being NO loopholes in “no matter what!”
This is still true…I want days off for good (or bad) behavior, from life. I want a break from recovery, I want to graduate or say “I have done enough”, because the purple monkeys living in my addict brain tell me so.
And, no matter what, I do what I have done for a very long time and DO IT ANYWAY! Along with “JUST DO IT”, my other recovery motto is “NO MATTER WHAT!” And so, here I am…following those two pieces of dedicated advice into the writing of the piece I swore an hour ago I could do without for “just one day.”
What I know, from watching others who slipped and slid right back into newcomer status, is that they had the same voice telling them to “let up” just this one time…and it became a comfortable rut they slipped and slid into until they were so deep into the shit that the only place to turn was into the not-so-loving arms of the bottle and the dope.
UGH! Not necessarily going to happen with this one little article, but I am not willing to make it that big a deal. SO, I spend my 20-30 minutes reading and writing and here we are! Almost 600 words and all I told you is how this happened for me today. Isn’t that f-n amazing? And all because I recognized this particular octopus this morning and it resonated with me.
And that means that I accept that I have a talent for this stuff. I do, and that is not an arrogant claim. I was first told I was a good story teller in kindergarten. I am. And I LOVE telling the story of transformation in recovery, with the 12 steps and spiritual principles and how they apply to our lives.
This is my gift; I love this gift. And today, I am so especially happy to unwrap it yet again and share it with you all. Even when nobody reads these, they do a tremendous good for my life and my day. That is why I have to continue to live a disciplined life…it f-n works and it works beautifully!
Dolphin Hug 