October 6

DISCIPLINE MONTH: DAY 6: “Discipline isn’t a dirty word. Far from it. Discipline is the one thing that separates us from chaos and anarchy. Discipline implies timing. It’s the precursor to good behavior, and it never comes from bad behavior. People who associate discipline with punishment are wrong: with discipline, punishment is unnecessary.” ― Buck Brannaman

This is the only thing that makes life work, as I see it. I have seen homes where chaos reigns, because those living in the home thrive in that environment. One of the reasons ego keeps us running from one thing to another is to keep us from sitting still long enough to see what we are really up to. That is what the ego does best, throwing up smoke screens and blaming others for the lack of focus on the task at hand.

In working with other addicts, it is funny the reasons they will give for not doing what they need to be doing…” the dog ate my homework” kind of crap. I find it interesting, but not very funny. Diverting attention to the thing at hand is all ego. And ego is a deadly, deadly thing for most of us.

I share with those with whom I work the way that my sponsor taught me about Step 10. She taught me to read pages 86, 87 and 88 every day and answer the questions out loud. So I do. I read it at night, because I want to sleep well and that is what works for me. If there is something I need to clean up the next day, I make a note on my journal page for the next morning. This has helped me stay on the right side of my behavior, for the most part, for over 30 years. It helped her for over 38 years. I am good with that.

So, I do this practice of Step 10 and have had to admit I was wrong (I only say it like that!) too many times for my comfort. I try to not do things that make me admit I was wrong, but I am wrong sometimes. Ugh!

None of the folks I sponsor has this particular discipline. I can tell, because we do a lot of inventories together. I have to do far fewer than I did in the early years when I maintain this discipline. And the messes I clean up are smaller and smaller. The primary “reason” they give me for not doing it every day is brilliant and unvaried…either “I am too busy” …doing what, making messes? Or “I forget to do it” …until it is time to write another inventory. I get it…my head tells me the same thing every night…” I am good.” Hahahaha…till I’m not!

So this discipline, like all of those that keep my health good, my emotional wellbeing intact, and those that I currently practice, is good for me.

If the goal here is to remain free from our addictions, not doing those behaviors is all we need to practice. I am here to be Happy, Joyous and Free! That means I have to step into another level of behavioral change that is going to produce that.

So I keep my living space clean and uncluttered, because that indicates that I have that discipline. I pay my bills first, because I cannot enjoy things I would rather spend my money on when I have bills unpaid. I eat well and lightly, because I love the way my body feels when it is lighter. I work out and hike and do daily yoga because I love being strong and flexible. When something needs to be done that I want to avoid, I do it first. I love this writing, so I stop whatever else gets in the way so I can focus my attention on doing this. I take care of those things that I have, because I want them to remain in good working order. I remember to thank the Universe every single day for the use of those things that I have, because all of it can be removed at any moment. Not because I am awesome, although I will tell you I AM! But because this is how it works.

I learned this in meetings, from people who had the kind of life I wanted to have. I don’t have all the fancy stuff most of them had, (it was Palm Desert, after all!) but I have the things that cannot be bought at any price: Happy, Joyous and Free!

And I need less to be that every day…interesting how all those things and work and money kept me from truly being present to the life I always wanted! Wow!