FREEDOM MONTH: DAY 29: “There is freedom in stepping out and taking risks when you know at any given moment, you can always begin again.” ― Eva Gregory
Step 9 has the beautiful freedom, I believe, of allowing me to continue to grow in recovery. I get to see the progress I have made over the years, permitting myself to step into higher and higher levels of this thing.
Progressive recovery is what I mean. As I cycle through this process of steps 4-9 each time, I get to see that although my issues have never changed, I am engaging self and attitude and behavior in deeper ways. This is good news!
I dare myself every day to step out of my comfort zone…to take risks with living more fully and engaging more deeply in those things that bring me joy! It is a challenge, because my process of growing older is sometimes a big component of that. Sometimes my fear is the challenge. No matter what the challenge is, I have so many things on my bucket list I don’t think I want to ever die.
Of course that is not the case, but I am having a wonderful time being alive today. I have taken some really gigantic leaps of faith, usually try for at least one each day! But some of those have been seeming big errors and were not.
Even if I don’t begin again, there is always this process of amending my actions, behaviors, attitudes, etc. I see Step 9 as the process where I also do this in every area of my life. I may not have to make amends with another person, but I can do the same process in shifting my gears to a more comfortable setting when I hit a brick wall or when time has come for a shift in focus, etc.
I am aware of how much I try to beat myself into submission…I can be a tough critic of myself. But this, too is a process of amending my thinking, which shifts my attitude, and then I can be having a new and improved (amended) behavior. This goes into areas where no one else may be involved. I love that!
So I can make amends in any arena I so desire! And I have! And I will continue to do so. All that “amend” means is to change or alter something for the better. Okay…got it!
So I can allow for much more risk taking behavior in my life…daring to do something differently! This is in direct opposition to that fearful mindset that tells me that life has to be a certain way, has to be done in a specific way, that things have to BE like this or that, in order for me to feel safe and in control. The fear I see us all walking through today is driving that life where we are never going to do anything any differently, because of our fearful mindset.
Life is ALL about change! There is nothing else that exists in this Universe! We have to learn how to surf the cosmic waves of change every day and LET GO of what we know and expect and believe…it is killing us, in recovery or not! Removing substances and addictive behaviors is only the tiniest of beginnings. Learning to live in change and amending what doesn’t work is the process of real recovery! I don’t want anything less! I want the maximum dose of this stuff I can possibly get!
Dolphin Hug 