FREEDOM MONTH: DAY 27: “True freedom is impossible without a mind made free by discipline.” ― Mortimer J. Adler
Addicts like me do NOT respond well to discipline. We are contrary people. The first thing that most of us do is respond with a defense about why we cannot, will not or do not need to do something. With the folks I sponsor, the most common refrain I hear is “I don’t have the time.”
I used to tell myself I did not have time to take vitamins every day. The truth is, I have this brain that tells me that I need to be free from rules and guidelines, because they feel like something being imposed on me by others. Discipline is NOT a favorite thing for us!
So to become truly disciplined to do what we need to do is very uncomfortable. I wish I had a dollar for every time I have heard new members tell me “This is haaaaaaarrrrrrrrdddddddddddd!” I would be so wealthy!
And my response to all of them is the same; “No, it is NOT hard. It is uncomfortable, unfamiliar and will be challenging as long as you resist doing it.” Not hard at all. That is our instant defense to what we do not want to do.
Most of us like to believe that this recovery thing is about not drinking or using drugs. That is not true. The recovery thing is about shifting our conscious and unconscious brain into a new way of seeing the world and its people and our relationship to them.
When I worked in the bars at the end of my drinking and using career, I had customers who would drink like crazy until they had to attend their court-appointed AA meetings. Then they came back after an hour and a half to drink doubles and catch up with the rest of their friends. I really believed that AA was a place of punishment, where everyone had to sit in the room with each other and NOT drink for an hour and a half. Like detention, kind of. So I quit going to court on my charges and never got sentenced to AA!
I was really surprised when I got here some time later and found out that people really wanted to quit drinking! Oh! And then I would look around the meetings for those who were going to hit the bars after and drink doubles to keep up with their friends! And they are sometimes there; but they are not in the majority.
So, this whole thing is NOT about abstinence. Abstinence is the beginning, even before the 1st Step, we have to let go of the drugs and alcohol. Then we get to work the steps and achieve a spiritual awakening that is going to alter our thinking, subsequently alter our behaviors and attitudes; and THEN we become happy, joyous and free!
The discipline that is necessary for me is to eat right, get enough sleep, do quite a bit of daily writing work, take my vitamins, workout and exercise, do whatever work is necessary for me in the world around me (I can swing from working 60 hours a week to 1! My journey…), pay my bills, clean up my messes (literally and figuratively), refrain from making the same ones again, work with a sponsor and sponsor others, attend meetings, follow through on commitments, be of service, and do the work on steps 4-9 that keep me in touch with that Power I get from doing those things. It has become a pattern for me over these years.
And it takes great discipline to stay with my focus on MY life and recovery, not yours. To see what I am up to, not you. To check my mood and attitude and behavior and to be accountable to others for them. We get freedom by doing these things because I am no longer that selfish, arrogant person who waited for someone else to do the work for me and waited for the benefits to shower down upon me. This is a good, good thing!
Dolphin Hug 