FREEDOM MONTH: DAY 6: “Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does. It is up to you to give [life] a meaning.” ― Jean-Paul Sartre
So, this morning in my short sit, I was hit by the idea of freedom in a new way. I am free to do ANYTHING I want! Oh!
What I mean by this is, the first thing I thought of was robbing a bank…somehow, in my crazy brain, it has always been an idea that I wanted to be a bank robber…not every day, but maybe once. Of course, if I liked it, we would have a potential bank robbing addiction here folks!
But the freedom I thought about is the freedom to create whatever karma I want today. And the clarity to see what could and would be the results of this action or any other. So it was a deeper understanding of freedom I want to write about today.
I am free to be happy or I am free to be doing things that will take away my rights to walk on the beach when I want. I am free to be thin or fat, weak or strong, to come or to go at will. I am free to work or not, to eat or not, to drive a car or not, to do about 10 million things, or not.
And I am free to kill someone, or not, if I am also free (and I am!) to recognize that my behavior has consequences. I got this freedom from applying spiritual principles to my life, right after I became physically free from drugs and alcohol.
I did not lay down some of those behaviors, attitudes, beliefs, stories or old ideas right away. It took years for some of them to get removed, usually after it became unbearable to keep doing them. I was in psychic pain and blaming circumstances, you, any number of outside influences for the pain; but I have always had the freedom to make my life Heaven or Hell.
Freedom is a bigger concept for me at this moment than it was last night. When I really sat with this and allowed it to expand (which is the reason I meditate…expansion!); I was astonished at the enormity of the freedom we ALL have to live life any way we desire.
I do a great deal of work and service in the prisons and jails of this state. I get to meet some shocking and surprising and amazing people there. Most of them are just like me! That is why I continue to do it. One of the biggest surprises is the variety of folks, who have such a striking variety of experiences and a HUGE variety of responses to their situations.
I have met lifers with deep happiness and peace and others who get a traffic ticket and piss and moan about what victims they are of “the system” in some way. Deeply instructive for me. I have been both of them.
I see the level of freedom they have, and most folks would never consider them to be free. This is what I am talking about! I have met millionaires who were locked in life in ways that they knew NO freedom at all! And I have met homeless people (lots of them!) who are as free as birds and happy as hell. And everything in-between…and I have been both of them too.
I am creating, every day, my freedom or lack thereof. It is a mental construct that I take out of bed with me in the morning. As I go about my day, living my life, I get to create my freedom or lack thereof in every action I take, every movement I make, every breath, every thought, every belief, every word.
One of my favorite (ever!) movies is “Flatliners.” The concept is deeply similar to Step 9 and carries the idea of how our actions impact our lives. The best line (ever!) for me, in this, or any other movie I have seen so far in this life is: “EVERYTHING you do matters.” And yes, it is absolutely true.
So I have freedom to be what I want, where I want and how I want to be. There is nothing outside of me that determines my happiness, my serenity or my choices. And all that I have ever wanted is right here, right now. This is wonderful news and the freedom of all of it is mine! What a day!
Dolphin Hug 