COURAGE MONTH: DAY 27: “We can’t be afraid of change. You may feel very secure in the pond that you are in, but if you never venture out of it, you will never know that there is such a thing as an ocean, a sea. Holding onto something that is good for you may be the very reason why you don’t have something better.” ― C. JoyBell C
I love many things about my life today…in fact, most things. But there are certainly some of them that are being replaced, even in this moment, with something new. This may or may not meet with my personal approval, but that is completely irrelevant. If I have, in fact, turned my will and life over to the care of a loving Power, my life has become none of my business.
Life is the process we are having here. I cannot control what does or does not come to my experience, just how I receive it. I have been less than gracious with many of the changes that were brought to me; actively resisting a few; but, in the end, they were there anyway. All I can do is accept them and learn to love them, ‘cause they ain’t going anywhere! And if I don’t drink or use in the process, I will have deepened my recovery and my faith.
I have to remember that my resistance is the same thing that kept me from believing fully for a long time that recovery was the best possible path my life could take. And I would love to take credit for having made that choice, but I had lost the power of choice for so many things in my life. Getting sober kind of came to me in ways that I cannot deny were the force of something outside of my fine mind. I did not come skipping into this deal, looking for anything. So I must remember that my resistance to change is always my first (fearful) response and to have the courage to embrace it and embark on whatever is placed in front of me to do so that I may enhance and fully utilize the experience, person, place or thing.
Life is going on; usually without my direction or input. The world keeps spinning and I want to be fully and completely present to it all! So I must let go of those things that keep me tethered to what I believe is the best that it has ever been and JUMP into what is coming and what will be even more amazing! In these 30 years, there have been millions (literally) of opportunities to allow change or to resist it. The time I have brutally beaten myself into submission have deprived me of some mighty fine hours, days, weeks, months and years of grateful acceptance of what IS.
So my focus today is to look at my life and see the changes…the flowers that are opening up, the ones that have faded and need to be cut off to make room for the next ones. The new ways that my body is showing me it is going more deeply into aging, those things that are coming, those things that are leaving. Relationships that have gone and new ones that are being explored. Seasons that are coming to an end, and anticipation of the ones that are coming up. The passing of another month and the experience of writing about another principle in the next one. And so on and so on and so on…life is a never-ending series of changes.
The entire world I inhabit is dying and being born again. I want to be present to it all, not dying trying to hold onto my youth or my past or people, places and things that need to move on and through and shift in to new kinds of relating; nor do I want to keep old ideas and behaviors and values and ways of seeing things.
In the spirit of Step 8, the principle for which this writing is all about, I truly do NOT want to spend one single moment of my life, ever again, stuck in anger, resentment, or an uncomfortable situation with anyone. We walk around here with a clean soul, a clean heart, a clean slate, and a clean life. These are the things that bring our spirit into balance with who we desire to be, who we came here to be, and how the steps allow us to live, each day, every day. I am so grateful!!! Happy, joyous and free is a literal thing in my life! Wow!!!
Dolphin Hug 