COURAGE MONTH: DAY 26: “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.”- Ambrose Redmoon
Recovery from addiction has gifted me with so many, many opportunities to walk through fear, to embrace life (even when I wasn’t sure it was a good idea) and to keep going. Sometimes it was to get something I really wanted, other times it was because I had stuff to clean up, quite a few times it was to look good to you folks, the motivation did not matter.
I did those scary steps, went to those horrifying appointments with courts and surgeons and made those phone calls where I had to use an index card to remember what I needed to say, had those face-to-face conversations where I was shaking and feeling overwhelmed, showed up for all of it!
All of these things have given me a vast amount of ESH (Experience, strength and hope) to share with those who are reluctant to do those things we do around here. I once read that the best way to live is to do the scary things first, so that is what I practice.
I never want to miss the beauty of this life because I was at home in bed with the covers pulled over my head. I did that before I got here…no way to live! So I will dare to stand up and speak for what I believe is right when I can, even if I am afraid to do it. The beauty of that has been the amazing results I continue to manifest in my life. And I will continue to challenge those who want to stay stuck in their stuff and invite them into the wonderful world where we walk in “the sunlight of the spirit”.
Not everyone will accept this journey. In fact, there are lots of folks who never do. It is sad and heartbreaking when they lose their way, but I am grateful for every reminder of what I have been given here and how precious it is to me. I never want to forget to do the things that have made my life such an amazing event! And my dedication can waiver, just like anyone’s, so I thank them all for their part in reminding me what a great and tremendous gift this can be!
There are so many things more important to me than living in that shit…SO many! Letting go of the pain and the fear is just the beginning, but if it were the only reason to do this work, it would be enough. I lived in stark terror of everything for so long, it seems. But truly, I have been doing this for just as long. Oddly, the fear and the pain are very vivid in my memory, so I am also grateful for that. I can feel it just by thinking about it. And there were times when it was too dear to let go of. Or when I needed to be right more than I needed to be happy. Ugh! Glad that is over today!
But I can also feel the joy and purpose and love and wonder I have for life today. I am on my way to another beautiful day of happy, joyous and free! I cannot imagine not knowing how precious and important it truly is!
Dolphin Hug 