August 13

COURAGE MONTH: DAY 13: “Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing.” ― August Wilson

Never met anyone named August…my favorite month. And this quote could not be any more perfect for me today. Thank you angels…and all Celestial beings, whatever your names may be. I feel supported and loved in an interesting time today. That is always such an amazing feeling.

I have beautiful friends and a GIGANTIC Power in my life that opens doors that look scary and when I walk through the emotions and the fear, there is a beautiful gift on the other side…every damned time! I love this and the way it unfolds. We all have so much darkness that fights to conquer our lives and our hearts and our spirits. I am grateful for the light that shines into these spaces and allows me to ask for your hand to hold when I am scared and feel all alone.

When I was a little girl, I first fell in love with the stories of Rudyard Kipling and wanted to have a pet mongoose, because I am terrified of snakes. My dad told me our dog killed snakes even better than a mongoose could. That gave me peace until the dog died and we had to get another one…I remember trying to train the dog to kill a snake with the garden hose…wish I had that one on film! There were so many bad guys in my childhood, some real and some I found in books and movies and television. I wanted to find ways to take them all on…I was Roy Rogers Jr. for a while in my cowgirl hat and chaps, then Tigger, because he just laughed all the time and was never scared.

As life goes on, we find other role models of courage and we find other heroes. I have had quite a few here in this recovery journey. The taught me how to walk through things that were terrifying and not run away. No matter how emotional the situations got, they may have kicked and cried, but they did not run. This is so powerful!

I have not had personal experience with anyone who got loaded (ran away) facing life’s challenges. I am blessed to have found those who are incredibly willing to walk when the road is dark and frightening. There may not be a light on for them at many times in their walk, but they keep going. I am inspired and uplifted to know them and to walk with some of them and to witness their journeys.

Courage, for me, is best defined as “fear that has said its prayers”. I love that definition, because I liken it to diving, headfirst, off the high dive when I was little. It was so scary and took me a long time to do…but I kept climbing up there and looking down…and I did not jump feet-first the first time, but did an Olympic medal worthy swan dive! Today I am capable of doing swan dives often. But it comes from watching the rest of these amazing people who come into my life and teach me how! And the love and witnessing of those around me who open their hearts to embrace my journey and the way I have to walk it…without climbing back down off the ladder or running away. These are tremendous blessings and sent by angels indeed!