COURAGE MONTH: DAY 12: “Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising that tempt you to believe your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires some of the same courage that a soldier needs. Peace has its victories, but it takes brave men and women to win them.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
There are moments in life when you suck in a big breath and JUMP! into the next thing that is in front of you, because there is no way you cannot do it! There is honestly no way to deny we know what we know when we know it. But, we are led to believe so often that others have more wisdom and knowledge than we do about what our lives are supposed to look like and how we should do the things that need doing.
I seldom ask anyone for advice or what to do. I have learned to access my own heart and know what feels right and what does not. I used to hear folks say “Check your motives” a lot in meetings. I don’t hear it so much anymore, but I still do it. And I ask for support from those who I believe can offer unconditional love and support, even if they are not always sure about my journey.
A wise woman once told me that my journey was only lonely when I did not know who my tribe was and did not request their strength and witness for my scary times. Asking for help of that nature is not my long suit. It is, in fact, often a bigger challenge than the one I need love and support for. But that is what I have learned to do, even when it is scary.
I am not a big fan of listening to those who have some opinion of who I am and what I am doing. As I often say, we all have opinions, and yes, they are like a__holes…please keep yours to yourself. And my favorite “don’t ask, don’t tell” … if I have not asked for your opinion and you insist on giving it to me, I am likely to say: “I do not remember asking.”
The world is, indeed, a kinder place when we keep our judgments quiet, not sharing them with anyone else. We are not qualified to verbalize them. It is my one rule of relationships…don’t ask, don’t tell. If I am asked by someone what they should do in any situation, I simply say “I don’t know” … what does your heart say? We all have our own wisdom, written by our Creator, in our hearts. When we are still in meditation and listen to the quiet voice of wisdom we all have, it creates a much more peaceful life for all of us.
When we follow the advice of others, we are often just too lazy to make our own decisions. This is a crippling situation, because we are always victimized and controlled by those who are the puppet masters in our lives. None of us can do this for long. And we get angry and resentful about all of it. So it is important to know to whom we are turning our lives and our wills over. Most addicts WILL tell us what to do if we allow it. And it will never be your journey, because none of us knows what someone else is supposed to do…we can entertain ourselves with that stuff all day long!
So the real bravery is finding what is living in your own heart, walk with that truth, and gain our own life through making those decisions that are in front of us to make. There WILL be mistakes…if you believe in mistakes. I agree with Dr. Paul O. that “nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake…” And from there, we grow and learn and grow and learn…ad infinitum. And the miracles never, ever stop coming! I really LOVE THAT!!
Dolphin Hug 