August 11

COURAGE MONTH: DAY 11: “At times the world may seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey.” ― Lemony Snicket

 

What we focus on grows. This is such an important concept for all of us, in recovery or not. Since I only know folks with some form of addiction, I can say I see this most frequently in clients I work with and in my family. There are no resources for recovery in their lives and all they can talk about when we have a conversation is how ‘terrible’ their lives are and they love to hand me a laundry list of their problems and complaints.

This is how we know when we are not diligent in performing the crucial ingredient (for me) that defines a happy and well-adjusted life…a DAILY Gratitude List! I have actually written about things that were once traumatic in my life, because of the benefits they have for me today.

It is impossible to believe that addiction and all of its crippling outcomes, can be considered an asset, until I look at the fabulous journey I have been on for the last 30 years. And then I can also see how it protected my fragile heart in many, many ways until I got to you guys. All of the tools for healing my life came from you and the BB and those who have journeyed this way before and during and with me. What a great gift that is!

Most of my healing has come from a simple shift in my attitude and ways of looking at life. I had to begin to let go of the idea that life was a construct with an agenda to hurt me; and I really did, on many levels, believe this! I had to begin to see the gifts in each and every moment of my life, no matter what kinds of resistance and stories I had around them.

So my mind (brain) had to shift its focus on the good in everything…no matter how much evidence I could compile about it being bad or harmful or hurtful or painful…blah, blah, blah. Pain, for me, lies in the inability I have to let go of my view of any and all situations. Yes, some of life has created sorrow and grief for me…and then I get to rewrite the story to realize it is me fighting the realities of life that is causing my pain and grief and sadness and sorrow.

Most often, I find I am treating the Universal Power like Santa Claus, asking for (sometimes begging!) that I get what I want when I want it and in the color of preference, too, please! I have learned to let life be life and get right with how that unfolds, more and more of the time. This creates deep peace in my heart and in my life. Then I find my Gratitude practice, which has been fairly consistent for the last 25 years (it started and stopped A LOT for the first 5), creates deep and abiding joyfulness and happiness that most people think is because of this or that…they all have a story about it.

Long before I ever read any of the research (which I came across in 1992), I was doing the practice and finding results (powerful results) in my personal life. I was friggin’ happy! And I tested it often enough to know what was creating this HUGE shift in my heart and life. It begins to work in 21 days, but REALLY kicks in after a year and JUMPS on your head after 3 or 4. I love this!

And today I can see that every single problem I have ever had is something I made up or created so I could distance myself from my own heart and my own life. There are no problems, anywhere, just ego-driven situations where I try to force my will on the Universe and it laughs at me…what????