July 16

PATIENCE MONTH: DAY 16: “Water does not resist. Water flows. When you plunge your hand into it, all you feel is a caress. Water is not a solid wall; it will not stop you. But water always goes where it wants to go, and nothing in the end can stand against it. Water is patient. Dripping water wears away a stone. Remember that, my child. Remember you are half water. If you can’t go through an obstacle, go around it. Water does.” ― Margaret Atwood

I love the analogies of water. It is such a great teacher. Not only does it sustain us on many levels physically, but it also gives us many great examples of how to BE in the world. The ocean teaches me great lessons about powerlessness and powerfulness and timing and Nature, to name a few. And the persistence of a single drop of water, applied over time, can change the shape of a solid mass of rock. That is astonishing! A single drop. So, we, as recovering addicts, can shift the shape of our lives…one drop of change at a time…persistently and continuously. I love that!! And we can consistently and persistently strive for a better expression of ourselves by shifting to new and more workable ways of being in the world. And going around obstacles is the path of least resistance, which is always the best path for most of us to walk down. What does not show up in the quote is the concept of “yielding”, which, for me, has been a tremendous tool in my recovery kit. I have to yield in traffic when I am driving, (even if I am in the right!) in order to avoid crashing my vehicle. I do not want to crash my vehicle, so I am going to yield. This is a great practice for me. Driving was a great practice for me in the early days. Once I was allowed back on California’s highways (legally!), I had a long commute each day for almost 7 years. And it taught me so much about being a courteous and safe driver. And what I responded to in a traffic situation. I use some of those early lessons still today in my teaching about how to get along with others better. Who knew it would be something so valuable? One of my early character defects that was persistent for me for many, many years was my innate determination to rush everywhere and be chronically 5 minutes late. This really played out in that commute scenario mentioned above. So I was always trying to “make up” for my lateness during my commute; which led to an interesting dynamic. I had so many lessons here about myself and the way I believed and what I believed about the world around me. So we get what we need when we need it. I did NOT want to be that red-faced crazy driver who was having heart palpitations and waving my fist (or finger) at other drivers because of my inability to leave early enough to be on time! So I had to practice new ways of being someone else. This took a long time, so patience was a key for this lesson. There are many others, but this situation is one that I use a great deal, because I could see why this was so. I loved my home in one town and I loved my job that was 36 miles away. What had to happen was that daily commute. And it was a great teacher. Water seldom played a part, but it was what I was reminded about when I sat down to write this morning. And, as my friend Mr. Wallace would say “I wish you water!”