July 11

PATIENCE MONTH: DAY 11: “Other people can’t cause us to be impatient unless we let them do so. In other words, others don’t make us impatient. We make ourselves impatient, through our expectations and demands, fixated attachments and stuckness.” ― Lama Surya Das

Yeah, having an agenda, a timeline, expectations and all of those “I am running things around here” can (and does) cause a great deal of trouble in relationships and in our ability to sit still with life. It always unfolds in the perfect pattern for the Universal Power that created everything. I cannot understand how and why this concept is so difficult for us to grasp. If something is large enough to create everything, and powerful enough to keep it all in balance…all the time; then how on Earth are we unable to get it that the same Powerful Force is not going to handle the unfolding of all Creation this time and that we are better prepared to do the job? There is no logic or sense in this. If I am a creation of a Power, then why do I fight letting that Power run the show? Especially since I have shown myself to be quite inept at it. And yet, I know how often I try to take the reins into my own hands again and figure things out and make things happen. It is incredibly unattractive to everyone I have ever met to have others push their agendas onto them. And yet, every addict I know attempts to push agendas all day long. Why not just take it easy and let things flow from their natural source into the patterns as designed by a much greater Creator than we will ever be? This kind of patience and waiting for life to be what it is going to be are the lessons I am most grateful for. The amount of discomfort and trouble I have caused myself in trying to impose my desires and plans onto others is tremendous. As I do this less and less, I find that I am a lot more comfortable with myself and with others. When I see that I am creating problems in relationship with others, it is up to me to make the changes that are indicated. When a character defect is making itself known to me, I am learning something that I can change, by not participating in that behavior. I cannot remove it completely, and may fall back into the old thinking that promotes those behaviors, but I have a course of action available to me that gives me a process of healing both the behavior and the thinking behind it. In every situation (so far) in this deal, I have used this combination of skills and learning, and been blessed with enormous amounts of healing in areas I did not know were broken. I used to blame others and believe that I was being drawn into relationships that were toxic. I have discovered that if I am there and it is toxic, it might be ME…damn! So then I get to see what the problems truly are. This takes infinite patience and courage to change. I have both in much greater measure than ever before. And I have quit kicking my heels and throwing temper tantrums when others don’t do what I expect them to do or want them to do or think they should do. That is none of my business. I have spent so much time in my life trying to rule and run and control the world; now I find I have a great deal more time available for living life instead of orchestrating it. Hooray!