July 1

PATIENCE MONTH: DAY 1: “Never cut a tree down in the wintertime. Never make a negative decision in the low time. Never make your most important decisions when you are in your worst moods. Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. The spring will come.”  — Robert H. Schuller

The truth is this: in all of the 30 years of doing this recovery deal, the biggest and most important thing for me to know is to wait for the next wave. The reason I am so in love with the ocean and the water is that I resonate with the flow of water and what that brings into and through my life. When I surfed, there is nothing to do but sit on the water and wait for the next ride. It always felt so Zen, sitting there, peacefully, loving the rolling of the water beneath me and the perfect timeliness of the next wave. I am inclined, by my nature, and perhaps as an addict, to be impatient with life. I want to fix things, right now, because I am unsettled by life too often. This is such a beautiful quote, because it reminds me that I need to wait for things to be resolved in my life…wait for the fullness of time to unfold so that I can be in the flow of what the Universe has in mind for me. If I turn things over, in Step 3 and then make decisions (based on self!) to do this or that, to have this or that, to be this or that, I am inclined to make messes because I am not allowing the Universe to do its job in its own time and in its own way. When I just let go of my agenda (driven by 100 forms of fear) and allow life to BE…I am so surprised and amazed by what comes and what happens and how that all is. As a gardener, I am very patient with allowing things to grow…to let seeds come up (or not, although I am always sad when they don’t), and I can wait for the tomatoes to ripen, and the plants to produce whatever offspring they are producing, whether it be flowers or food or herbs. I grow them all, and I appreciate their process. This is good for me, because I need to allow the same things for myself and my life. I am not a good “sitting still” person, so that is always my challenge and my task. When I began to meditate, I was really impatient with the process, so I would reflect on the opening of the seed, the beginning of the sprouting of the roots and the leaves, the breaking through of the stem past the soil, and on and on. So the reason I am particularly fond of this quote is its reference to the leaves on the tree being gone in wintertime. I get that. And I don’t make many decisions about my life any longer. I let it come to me and do my best to dance with the parts that show up. This is a real practice in patience and allowing, and it is a good one! Breathing and sitting and breathing and sitting…not a bad way to spend my time…that is all!