June 25

HUMILITY MONTH: DAY 25: “Worship means reverence and humility; it means revering your real self and humbling delusions.” – Bodhidharma

As I go through this process of ridding myself of my self, I get to see how there is more to this than I thought at first…duh! Humility is not me telling others I am nothing, it is an honest evaluation of who I am and what I am working with out in the world. I do not need to denigrate myself or my skills, talents and abilities. If I do this, I am trashing the handiwork of my Creator, who does not make junk. For me, Step 4 has given me the honest assessment of my assets and liabilities. Now I am requesting those things that are problematic be removed, because they interfere with the working of my assets and talents and skills. These are the gifts we were given at birth, I believe. Some of them are honed and refined during our lives; often neglected by us during our using and drinking careers. I was always a great story-teller and used that skill for bad outcomes, to lie and cheat and make you believe the crazy shit I made up. Today I can use it with a clean mind and heart to tell about the people I know in this deal and share amazing stories of recovery and the miracles we get here. My other talents have created the work that I do and the way that I do it. We are all unique, with skills and talents and abilities that may be common to many people, but we have a unique story to tell and live out. Some of us will do that in the business world, some in the entertainment world, some in the sports world, etc. The process of the 12 steps will give us the truth about who we are and what we are doing in the world. Step 6 is right in the middle of the process, where we have been smashing our delusions and egos in order to open our hearts and minds to the magnanimous Creator who is in charge of so much more than we can conceive when our whole focus was on the drinking and drugging that became such a burden.  In my belief, we are walking around this world ready for a drink or drug long before it comes to us. That is why so many of us are so happy with the first one. It was the answer and solution we needed at that time. Now we have to let go of that answer and go deeper into solutions to find out who we are and what we are here for. Recovery demands this process of us. If all we do is quit drinking, we have let go of the only solution we have ever found. Now we have no tools for becoming the person we came here to be. I have worked in settings where 12 steps are not used and I do not see how to help others uncover, discover and discard those tools that did not work and to pick up a new set to do the job needed. Today I am even more grateful for the humility needed to do what is in front of me to continue to move further away from that last drinking/thinking thing I laid down. I want to be the best me that came here to do what I do.