June 16

HUMILITY MONTH: DAY 16: “There is a universal respect and even admiration for those who are humble and simple by nature, and who have absolute confidence in all human beings irrespective of their social status.” ― Nelson Mandela

When we can learn to love each other, with no expectations on behavior or what we get from that, then we can let go of agendas and needs and how to get those met. Step 1 allows me to recognize that I need help, Step 2 helps me see where that help comes from, and Step 3 gives me the assistance I need to ask for it. Then Steps 4 and 5 get my old stuff out of the way; which, for me, has been a long process, not a singular event. And in Steps 6 and 7, I am asking for further removal of my defects, which are the products of my old stuff (thinking and beliefs). Sometimes I have to go back and forth from 4 to 6 to see what and how those defects have operated in keeping me separate from my fellows. I need to recognize what kinds of manipulations and codependent traits I might still be using to hang on to old behaviors, which are fueled by old ways of seeing the world and beliefs about how to make it better (usually for ME!) So I must lose myself, again and again, to gain the person I have worked for so long and so hard to cover up. I find that this person is content with much less than I ever believed, and pretty quiet and peaceful to hang out with. There is little in the world I truly want or need, except when I am feeling insecure or threatened. Both of these beliefs, which arise around either financial or relational concerns, trick me into wanting to be something else or have something else or do something else. I begin to think that I am not enough, that I do not do enough, and can never have enough to be simply okay. None of that is true, but I have to work through this process more deeply each day. As I do this, over and over, I am able to recognize the boogey man inside my head and (hopefully!) let the light shine in to dispel his fondness for the darkness of the cave. I truly believe we are ALL humble and simple by nature, but forget that as soon as we begin to believe that we are not enough to overcome our space in this world and need more of everything to be content. This kind of greed is a social construct we all get to live with and figure out for ourselves. Using drugs and alcohol to combat and overcome these ideas is not an effective way to live. Most of us have come to that realization by now. As we go through this work toward a peaceful and happy recovery, it is going to happen for all of us that we seek our balanced nature that is inherent inside our hearts. We will struggle with our demons and fight the ideas that we are never going to be enough, have enough or do enough to matter. These ego-based fears are the driving forces that many of us live with and have to address. Humility is that thing that lets us live with those fears and not buy into them. When we can learn to be at one with our nature, we are content to just BE, not do or have or overcome. Today, I long for this space to operate in every corner of my life.