May 29

INTEGRITY MONTH: DAY 29: “Be faithful to that which exists within yourself.” ― André Gide

Most of us cannot even say what it is that lives inside their hearts when we begin this journey. Learning to live with our hearts open is a challenge that we begin when we start these steps. We have to find the road that leads us into our own hearts, where our wise self holds the key to what we most need to know. When we can listen to our wiser self, our spiritual center, we are living with full intent and integrity. This is my purpose today, to live with full intent and integrity and to walk through the world with what this wisdom speaks. When I convince myself that something I am doing is the right thing, and it is not, (which I can still attempt to do more often than I care to admit!) I have to sit with the discomfort of selling myself on something that truly does not fit me or my journey or my life. Then I am in disharmony with myself, lying to self, selling myself a bill of goods that does not belong to me or resonate with who I am striving to be. So I have to watch myself when I think I am doing something that I have not really meditated on. As much as I have the ability to convince others that my ideas are worthy, I have the ability to convince myself 10-fold. I see this less and less as time goes on, because I do have a great sensor for bullshit in my heart center. However, once in a while I jump on something without thinking it through and always find myself having to back out of an uncomfortable situation I may have signed on for. I usually begin to receive subtle hints at what is going on, and if I listen to my heart, I find that I have sold myself a bridge again! My moral compass is sound, but I don’t always think of checking it. This most often happens in romance and finance for me. I have found myself in some interesting places with both, because these are the areas where I am more emotionally unstable and insecure. As my friend used to say: “Most of my problems are either pink or green!” So I know I am not alone in these arenas, because they are also where my ego gets most heavily involved. This process has brought me to recognize that I am susceptible to overstepping my abilities and selling myself short in both areas. So to be faithful to my heart center is to recognize less of ME and more of a spiritual guidance I get from that Power that I rely on for truth and the right way of living. Life like this is really good stuff. My world is peaceful and quiet when I stay out of it. The only time there is drama or any kind of turmoil in my life is when I bring it home and try to keep it. So being faithful to self means I quit doing damage to self. How that looks is to not engage in the family dynamic that is so toxic for my heart, to catch myself on the precipice of jumping off an emotional cliff to gain something I think I lack, or to go into things that do not really serve my spirit. So this is a great quote for me, because I want to stay focused on my true road, not running all over trying to go down dead-end roads that cost me time and energy I don’t want to waste. This is a process of gaining wisdom through age, as well as spiritual maturity beginning to find its way into my heart.