April 27

HONESTY MONTH: DAY 27: “No legacy is so rich as honesty.” ― William Shakespeare

My ego tells me I want to leave a rich legacy behind when I go. I don’t really believe it matters to me, as I will be gone. So I want to create the reputation that I carry with me today. That is a different thing, one I can walk down the road with. It isn’t the most important thing, because I really DO believe that it is none of my business what you think of me. But when I lay my head down to go to sleep at night, I want to be able to say I had a good day and did all the things that will make me the proudest of my 24 hours. This does NOT mean I have to accomplish a ton of items to be checked off on a list, nor does it mean I have to make tons of money, etc. It simply means, for me, that I have lived well in that day and done things that I am not ashamed of or need to clean up. My wonderful sponsor and mentor, whose voice I hear all the time, used to say (all the time): “Pages 86, 87, and 88; and answer the questions out loud.” I do this before I go to sleep at night. It is part of the journey I incorporated in those very early days and have pretty consistently maintained. I love what I get when I do these things. Being honest is not hard, because I just say what I feel and what I believe about what is going on. There are some times when I really want to pretend I do not know what is going on in a situation, but I find that when I sit with myself in the morning and throughout the day, I DO know. It just doesn’t always suit what I want to know or what I think I may convince myself to believe. Not sure why, but I sometimes want things to be different for me. I want to justify something or please someone or be other than what I am. I don’t know why, it would serve absolutely no purpose to pretend, but I am still capable of trying to do this. Today I am devoted to knowing and sitting and honoring and walking my truth. I am sure it will displease someone who has another agenda for me, but that is how it is. I am only promising loyalty to my inner self, my journey, my truth on this day. And when I walk away from this life, if there is a review of those things that I have done and been and said, I hope it is like the daily practice of 86, 87 and 88. I will know most of the answers and be able to account for myself well, even when I was dishonest, selfish, self-centered and did not walk in integrity. This Step 4 stuff has given me a sense of who I am living my life to become. And I feel very fortunate to have been given these tools to do so. My life is an amazing canvas where I get to practice openly the things that we teach here. Not every day is perfect, but my heart is. Not everything I do and say is the way I dream it will be, but I can own and allow it to be okay. We have a wonderful way of life that is honorable and just. The hardest part, for me, is remembering that it applies in ALL of my affairs and that the person I most hurt when I let go of principles is ME. Today I feel worthy and deserving of the best possible life the Universe has in store. That means I will walk the path that leads me into that place…woohoo! Wanna go?